Advent Memoirs
by Kadajneko
Summary: Kadaj is the only one who understands her. But he doesn't realize how much he him self needs her. Secret Memoirs that only I could find out.
1. 1 Lost

Disclaimer: I do not own Advent Children or Final Fantasy VII, Square Enix does.

However, I do own Esakatari, she is my character. No one may use her unless they have permission from me.  _Lost_

I opened my eyes; I had no idea how long we had been sleeping here. I looked around trying to remember where the hell we were. Above me…the white cherry blossom tree was still just as beautiful as when we first got her; then I remembered something about a cave that we had passed yesterday, "_Oh, that's right! We stopped here for the night! And if I remember correctly…Kadaj doesn't even know where we are."_ I looked to ether side. Kadaj wasn't where he was sleeping night the night before. I don't really know why I listened to that Advent child…. I guess it was because I owed him my life since he saved me from falling off that cliff two years ago. When Cloud had so called 'accidentally' pushed me off, Kadaj had come running to save me and grabbed my arm just before I was beyond reach. When I was back up, I asked him why he saved me and he simply said that he liked my face; I didn't really like that answer but some how I knew that he as only kidding. As I thought about it, I felt something move around on my chest. I glanced down…it was Kadaj; he was asleep as I thought. But…he was breath was shallow and raspy …as if he was having a nightmare. He sometimes squeezed his eyes tightly and moaned. "Kadaj?" He didn't move, "Kadaj!" He still didn't move. Suddenly, I heard a noise from behind. "Kadaj!" I shook him awake.

"Huh? What? What's the matter?"

"Shhh!" I said.

He listened quietly for a moment, "What is it?"

"There's something moving around here." I answered. He looked unbelievingly at me, but then there was another sound closer than the first. "There!" I said pointing towards a tree. "What do you think it is?"

"I'm not sure…I'm gonna check it out though." He crouched down and started to creep up to the tree. As he got close, he stopped just behind the tree.

"What is it?" I whispered.

"Shhh." He looked over; unexpectedly he pulled out his sword and darted around the tree. I heard his sword cut threw flesh. It was a sickeningly eerie sound that sent a shiver down my spine; then there was silence again. He came back around a split second later with blood on his black leather outfit; it looked like a pair of bell-bottoms fused with a long sleeved shirt with belts around his chest and legs to me. It looked a little uncomfortable and hard to maintain, since leather was so hard to wash. The belts that went around his chest had pads where they crossed his shoulders. I called them 'dragon scales' 'because that's what they looked like. He often says that real dragon scales are smaller and harder than what he has but I disagree with him. Besides, I should know what real dragon scales looked like since I lived with the large beasts for a while. His black leather gloves had blood on them also.

"Is it dead?" I asked.

"Yeah, it's dead." He said that as he walked back, then he wiped off his blade before putting it back into its purplish-black sheath. He walked over to his backpack and pushed his pale hair back from his green slit eyes as he looked for some thing, he'd been carrying that thing the whole time we had been on this trip, which was over a year now. A moment later, he pulled out a knife that he only used when he was going to skin some thing.

"What was it?"

"Just a deer…but at lest we have some thing to eat now." He turned and walked back to the tree. I pulled my black leather bound legs in until I looked like a ball. I hated killing animals to eat but I wasn't about to start complaining just yet either. I hadn't eaten meat for two weeks and Kadaj hadn't had any for nearly a month. He had been giving up the better part of his food so that I could eat better. Still, I didn't have to watch him cut it up as I did one time…I could never look at that particular knife again after I saw him do that.

"Esakatari? Could you hand me my backpack?" he called out.

I ran over with the bag, after I put it down behind him I said, "I'm gonna look around here if you don't mind?"

"Fine by me." He said with out looking up, focusing on ripping the hide from his kill. I left him with a shudder; turning I was just about to leave when Kadaj came out from behind the tree saying. "Wait…one thing…if you see anything weird or see any one at all, come back here right away."

"Yes sir." I jumped off the boulder I was standing on and ran to the cave I had seen on the way to camp last night. I didn't really know why but something about the cave attracted me when I first saw it. I had been wanting to go explore it ever since. "I wonder what's in there." I asked my self when I got up near it. What Kadaj had said before we set out on our little journey started coming back to me.

"_If some thing strange happens to you…and you don't even know what it is…then watch your self but go for it! If Worse comes to worse I'll save you. But often times Jenova gives people tasks that may seem odd to them but that's only because we don't yet fully understand mother and he mission."_ I stopped just before I walked in…I also remembered something else he had told me, "_But don't forget…some times the very things that you could be attracted to can also be an enchantment, and I might not be able to help you if you get sucked into one of those. Depending on the enchantment_." Nevertheless, I walked on in any way. The cool air almost froze me but I could feel some thing pull me along as I walked deeper and deeper into the cavern. The walls seemed to have paintings on them telling a story. From what I could make out of it, it was a tale of a dragon, which seemed to be beating down on a town below. I saw something that looked like Lord Sephiroth in this mural but I didn't think it was him…Lord Sephiroth was old…but not that old! As I walked on I tried to think of the possibilities that could be at the end of this walk…all I could think of was chicken eggs. I tried to make my self think about something else but my mind kept going back to chicken eggs of all the stupid things! Yet, I kept going for who knows what reason. As I got to an opening in the wall, I thought I heard Kadaj call out my name. I ignored it and went on in, "_It could be an enactment trying to get me away from here."_

I came to a dead end, "Now what?" I felt along the wall. Then a sharp edge almost cut my finger. There was a break in the surface, I looked inside and couldn't see any thing. So, I inched my way in. It wasn't long but it was a painful crawl before I came out the other side in a cavern full of crystals and any other precious stones. I forgot about how my stomach hurt from all the cuts I had gotten. I shouldn't have worn my battle shirt out here; there was nothing around my abs to keep me from getting hurt. "This place looks like a dragon's hording room." I said out loud. I felt a pull to the center of the gold pile. But I could also hear Kadaj's voice sounding increasingly concerned.

"Esakatari! Where are you!"

Still, I didn't answer. "_I'll just see what it is and I'll get out. For all I know…that voice is just a way of getting me away from here when I should keep going!"_ I walked to the middle of the horded treasure and found a nest of dragon eggs! "Oh my! Yes!" I picked up the four dragon eggs. A thought ran through my head after they where in my pockets, "_First of all: Kadaj probably won't let me have the four of them even for a second. The mother dragon might want to raise them." _But before I got out, I saw their mother…lying dead on the floor. "Oh no…." I let out a hushed whisper as I silently mourned for the great beast.

"Esakatari! Oh my God! Where could she be? Esakatari!" I could hear Kadaj screaming at the top of his lungs for me. I found a crack in the roof of the cavern and crawled out. "Esakatari!" He screamed out one last time, his face was red from shouting so much along with worrying. His pupils were almost not there, they where so small from his concern and he had his sword out.

"Here I am." I said cheerfully. He spun around and looked up at me, he let out a huge sigh, smiled for a moment, and then he got mad again. He darted up the hill towards me, "What the freakin' hell were you doing? You cause so much trouble!" He demanded as he put his sword away.

"I was saving the dragon babies." I replied, hoping that if I said 'save' that he would let me keep them.

He stared into my eyes "Saving…what?" he questioned with a darker face.

"Dragon babies." I repeated, he glared at me. "Oh come on Kadaj! If I leave them there they'll die." I tried to tap into his sensitive side, which didn't work.

"No! It's probably better if they DID die!" He turned and walked away "Leave them and let's go!"

"Oh…I'm sorry little guys." I said pulling them out one by one. I started to cry; Kadaj didn't understand why I had to save them… or even why I cared about them. My people had been training and raising dragons for years and years. I was always told that there was no such thing as a bad dragon if they where well looked after by good people. I always wanted to raise some of my own but I had to leave before I could get my hands on even one dragon egg. I got up slowly and started to walk away.

Kadaj stopped and without even turning around to look at me said, "Alright! You can keep them!" He growled.

"Yes! Oh thank you Kadaj!" I gave him a big hug.

"Hey! No touching for more than five seconds! Got it? I don't like hugging!" I felt like bringing up the fact that he was sleeping on me last night but I didn't. "Let's get back…. If I had known that while you were gone you would get me so concerned that I would have to go find you. And then after I found you that you would be talking me into taking care of dragon chicks I would have said no!" When his back was turned, I stuck my tongue out at him. I smiled as I gathered the bluish white rock-like eggs up and put them in my pocket. Kadaj didn't know but I stole his black baggy pants earlier when he wasn't looking and he still hadn't noticed…at lest not yet.

"Thank God I DID steal his pants or I'd be having a hard time getting these back to camp." I whispered as I closed the pocket with the flap.

"Did you say some thing?" Kadaj called back after I stood up.

"I was talking to my self." I yelled back.

"That can be a sign of insanity." He said as he walked on. It irritated me he never listened when I wanted him to but the moment I start talking to myself he's all ears.

I ran up after him, "You done with the deer yet?"

"Mostly, there isn't any real point in cutting it up completely yet." That aggravated me too! When he didn't finish the job he'd hang it on a tree somewhere and some how I would always find it and scream, and then he'd laugh at me for being so scared!

"Well tell me where you hung it up so that I can avoid it."

"But then I wouldn't get my laughs in." He teased.

"Kadaj!" I kicked him as hard as I could in his lower back. "Ow! Okay! Don't get vicious! It's over on my side of the rock so don't go near there unless you need a good scare." I didn't go over there often any way…now I wasn't going to go near there at all! "We're gonna stay here a while until I can find where we are on the map." I couldn't help but feel like he really had no idea where we were and that we were lost out here.

"Lord Sephiroth would have known where we were." I whispered, trying to keep Kadaj from hearing.

"SEPHIROTH ISN'T HERE!" He roared at me. He whipped around and glared at me, his eye has contracted into tiny slits again, this time I thought that he was trying to burn me with his gaze. The last thing he ever wanted to hear was how Sephiroth would have done things better. He'd been told that his whole life and he was sick of hearing it. I often had brought it up to him and then he'd flare up like that.

"Sorry." I said.

"Well ya' should be! If it weren't for me, we'd be DEAD by now! So shut up!" I dropped my head; I had pushed him way too far now. I wish this didn't happen as often as it did. I just shut up as he told me to.

When we got back and I walked behind my side of the rock, I sat down and pulled out the dragon eggs, "I think there three days old already." I was trying to avoid Kadaj because he was still mad at me. I wish that some times Kadaj knew that I'm an Advent too, and that Jenova's life cells where inside me as well so I also was part of their Advent stream. Even though I came from the humans and I wasn't born with the life cells, some thing happened to me and Mother's cells entered my body so I at least had that if nothing else, yet unlike Kadaj, I didn't have a purpose to live. I was lost in a world of faces and of Advent children. But in the past few months, my eyes had been changing into slits just like Kadaj's eyes; along with my eye color, which was sapphire blue, was now turning green as well. I sat there looking at my eggs; I felt a burning in my right palm where the cells had entered me then suddenly I felt like I was going to be sick for no apparent reason. I had felt this way before…when my eyes started changing from normal to slits. I bent over, I though I was going to throw up. I moaned just a little bit,

"Esakatari?" Kadaj asked from behind the rock, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Leave me alone." The feeling got worse.

"Esakatari?"

"I said leave me alone!" Yelling that out made it worse,

"Esakatari! Why are you lying to me?" He jumped over and grabbed me as I fell over.

"Let…me…go." I fought, but not for long. I felt so weak that I just fell back into his arms.

"What's going on?" He asked looking anxious.

"It's not your fault if that's what your wondering. It's been this way since that accident two years ago."

"What accident two years ago?"

"Aaaah!" I cringed, I felt like I was on fire. "There was an accident two years ago…some of Jenova's life cells entered into my body."

"Don't fight. Let it go." He said holding me down.

"What's happening to me?" I couldn't see very well and I was getting scared,

"This planet is trying to stop you from growing any more." He wiped my forehead off from all the sweat.

"What? Does this mean that I'm going to die?"

"No, it means that you're not going to feel too good for a while."

"No kidding! Aaaah!" I cringed again.

"I said don't fight it!"

"Shut up! You don't know what you're talking about Kadaj!" I snapped, I gave him a hard, fixed stare; it felt like my eyes they were blazing.

"Fine, you're just going to tire your self out though. And if I know you…you don't like to be vulnerable to some one else. This is what you are when you can't move."

"Yeah! Well I'm not going to stay here long! No sir!" I struggled and struggled with the sickness inside that tortured me but I didn't get anywhere. Plus as time drew on I felt my strength leave very quickly. I stopped fighting, and then I started falling asleep, "No." I whispered, "No not here, not now." I didn't want to sleep in his arms; I would be unarmed and it was the same as sleeping in a barred enclosure. But I felt like I couldn't help my self. I started to drift off; I was awake enough to feel him wrap some thing warm around my cold and somewhat lifeless body. His gentle hands held me close to him. I snuggled into his leather-clad chest, almost immediately the pain was gone and I feel asleep. I entered the Advent stream world, a place where I could meet with or talk to the other Advents. I was lying there, not really awake but still not really asleep either,

"Esakatari." I thought I heard Sephiroth's voice whisper behind me. There was nothing there except white light; I felt a hand press onto my head. It was too big to be Kadaj's. More hands came and touched me and I felt a power surge threw my body. "The others share your pain. You don't have to struggle with it alone." I heard Sephiroth's voice say as the hands left me. I closed my eyes; I just wanted to sleep for a little while now.

"Wake up! I need to talk to you." Jenova's commanding voice came from the white abyss. "Rise, you have a task given to you now." She continued, "The dragons you found where not discovered by accident. I gave those to you so that you would raise them. They will be rider dragons. You are to train them to be so when they hatch. Do not tell any one else what I have told you about the dragons. And about you body. The pain will pass in time." She left me, now things in my life changed. I no longer was without purpose, I had a reason to live and die. A part of me started waking up and I could still feel something holding me, and to some extent, I knew it was Kadaj. I fought my self to wake up but it didn't work.

"Kadaj. If you're still holding me, and you can hear me, let me go. I don't want to be vulnerable, don't make me be defenseless to you." I felt like he was still cradling me. "Let me go." I pleaded; I struggled to wake up again. I felt like I was stuck inside a cage and I DIDN'T like it. "Let go, let go, please!" I kept fighting. Once again, my strength absented from me. "No, not again." I remembered no more. When I woke up the moon was shining. I was still in Kadaj's arms; he probably cradled me the entire time I was asleep, he had also fallen into a slumber. I tried to move around but something held my feet together. I guessed it had been what ever he wrapped me up with. Kadaj woke up from my persisting struggle.

"Help…I've fallen and I can't get up." I said with a humiliated face. He smiled then unwrapped me. He had me enfolded in his coat. I got up and stretched.

"You feel better?" Kadaj asked rubbing my shoulders.

"Yes, what happened? How long was I asleep?"

"About two days. I told Sephiroth you where in trouble 'because you were feeling the growth pains of an Advent…I guess you heard him."

"Yeah, and I guess Jenova decided to show up." Kadaj stopped and turned me around to face him, his eyes slits contracted.

"You meet Mother?"

"Well, not really…she just…talked to me." Kadaj dropped his eyes and looked away.

"Not very many people…get to meet Mother like that."

"Would you be another person who has?"

He turned, "Yes."

"What happens now?"

"Mother will tell us." He picked up the map. "But right now? We just have to find out here the hell we are here so that we can move on."

_**Hey! Hello? I warned you that I'd only put up more if people REALLY liked this one. I have the chapters already written I just want you to tell me if it's worth my time putting it up okay? **_


	2. 2 Sundown

Disclaimer: I do not own Advent Children or Final Fantasy VII Square Enix does.

**However, I do own Esakatari, Sutara, Luther and Constantine, they are my characters and you may not use them unless you have permission from me. **

_Sundown_

"Face it Kadaj. WE'RE LOST!" I yelled at him as I sat on the rock with my elbows resting on my knees. "We have been here, on this stupid rock, in this trench, for two, stinking weeks trying to find out where the hell we are on that map so we can finally get out of here! So! Where are we Kadaj?"

"Don't yell at me! I don't need you crap right now! It's hard enough trying to find our position WITH OUT YOUR CRAP!" He was beginning to get really ticked off, I had been yelling at him for hours, from the moment we got up in fact.

"Why is it that men can't stop for directions?" I said jumping off the rock,

"I don't need directions…I have the map." He said arrogantly as he turned back around and looked back at that useless thing again.

"If we didn't need that thing so badly…I would BURN IT!" I jumped up and kicked my bag wanting to kick Kadaj in the butt, but I decided against that.

"Will you shut UP!" He shouted, I sat back down on the ground, crossed my arms around my legs and pulled my knees into my black silk clad chest, leaning against the rock and sighed. I'd had enough of his pestering, his bickering, his arrogance, and him cracking his whip at me all the time to take care of the camp while he just sat there, trying with no success at finding where we where. In fact…I'd had enough of him period! I was ready to slap his egotistical face off! I was near my boiling point when he said,

"I think we're right here." Pointing at somewhere on his dim-witted chart. "It's not on all the maps I've seen which is why it took me so long to find it."

"Yeah, whatever! You've probably been pointing at the same stupid spot, for two weeks! You have no idea on where the hell we are! Sephiroth would have known how to get us out of this! You're just an insignificant little punk who's trying to show off that you're a big man! Yeah, a FAKE big man!" I walked away and picked up the dragon eggs, he came over and snatched them out of my hand, threw them on the ground, then grabbed both of my wrists and picked me up until I felt my feet dangled below me!

"That was uncalled for!" I struggled a bit before I answered,

"What was? That you aren't worth any thing compared to Sephiroth and that you're one of the worst leaders I've ever known? Oh! In addition, did you want me to add on the fact that I'm the only one taking orders around here! Like a slave you slave driver!"

"You're not very good at respecting people are you?" He glared at me.

"No I'm not! I'm not good at respecting tyrants who don't even know what the hell they're doing at ALL!" I yelled in his face, his eyes contracted into small incisions then he threw me down on a rock, I heard a cracking noise as I hit the bolder and felt a very distinct, sharp pain run threw my right side at my ribs, then he slapped me.

"Don't you ever, talk to me like that again!" He said, his eyes looked like they were on fire as he narrowed his eyebrows,

"Or what? You'll throw me on rocks, almost break my ribs and slap me again ya dame ass! You can't do any better than that can you?" I said getting up and rubbing my cheek then slapping him back. "You're gonna have to use that sword of yours to tame me that way your majesty!" I mocked as I gathered the eggs and put them back in their pouch, I got up and started walking away,

"Hey! Get your ass back here!" Kadaj yelled out after me,

"No!" I said starting to pick up my pace. He started after me

"I said! Get…your…ass…BACK HERE!" I broke into a sprint and went zigzagging through the trees as best I could trying to get him off my trail, the pain in my side started throbbing with every step I took, he soon gave up and fell to the ground

"You wont get far enough away for me not to know where you are!" He yelled out as I went over the rock. I kept running until I got to the mouth of the cave I had found the dragons in. I sat down against the wall and re-located my rib, which I guess had somewhat fallen out of place when Kadaj threw me against that rock. I wrapped up my abs to keep it from moving too much so as it won't fall out of place again, then covered my face with my black gloved hands. I was sick of him hollering and hurting me all the time. It was tearing me up inside and he didn't even care about it! The worst was that I knew I had to go back. I cried just a little bit.

"Why? Why did you make me go with Kadaj of all the Advents in this cold, hardhearted world why! Why Jenova why! He's so coldhearted!" I stood up in rage and grabbed a rock then threw it as hard as I could. I still couldn't find a solution to my question so I lied down and pulled my self back into a fetus position, crying until I couldn't see any more. All my pain from my body seemed to grow worse and worse, as I lay there helpless. About an hour later, I hear Kadaj calling out.

"Esa? Esakatari?" I looked up with tears still filling my eyes but didn't respond. The pain from deep inside both physical and emotional still tore me up and I wanted to cry some more, or just stay away from him a little while longer, ether way…I didn't want to talk to him. "Esa?" he called out sounding more like he was sorry,

"_Go away! You jerk!"_ I fought the tears back. I heard his footsteps grow closer and closer.

"Esa…please come out. I think we need to talk." I thought back when that would bring me joy instead for grief like the one it did now. A small moan escaped my throat.

"_Dame it!" _I cringed as I heard his foot steps stop then run towards me from the noise.

"Esakatari?" I rolled over onto my stomach, which made the pain in my ribs hurt worse and tried to sneak into the cave. The pain in my ribs then grew intensively agonizing so I was going slow and only got about half way in before he saw me, "There you are!" He said running over to me. "Come on. You can't run away like this. It's way to dangers out here!" He grabbed my arm and pulled me up of the ground. He had grabbed my right arm so it felt like torture as he pulled me up.

"LEAVE ME ALONE YOU SNAKE! ITS EVEN MORE DANGERS WITH YOU!" I pulled away. Kadaj looked confused

"Esa?"

"Do you really think that every things all right? You're not really thinking about ME are you?" The tears started rolling down my face as I jerked my gaze away. He just looked at me, then, he walked up, "Get lost! I don't wanna talk to you!" I closed my eyes and jumped back, but doing so made me flinch from the pain in my side, which reminded me of how it got there in the first place. "I guess you don't CARE about how you threw me against the rock and did something awful to my ribs huh!" I turned around thinking that he'd leave if I did so. Instead, he grabbed my shoulder and started to pull me close, I attempted to pull away but he wouldn't let go, most likely 'cause I wasn't using my full strength. "Why do you all ways think that holding me is the solution to all our problems? It's not okay! I'm pissed off at you! Go away!" I said trying to jerk away, which didn't work because I couldn't use my full strength again, he stopped pulling on me.

"I'm…"

"AND DON'T YOU TRY TO EXPLAIN YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS ONE ETHER ON YOUR WAY!" I screamed, the sting in my side grow unbearable, making me flinch

"Okay." He calmly said, I only got more irritated; I knew what was next after he had glazed his voice over like that. After about ten seconds I tried to get away again and once again, he just held on to me.

"Let go you jerk!" He said nothing…he just stood there holding my shoulder. "If you don't let me go I'll…!" I felt him against my back then he wrapped his arms around my chest and squeezed just a little bit then pressed his cheek against mine. He took a deep breath then said,

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you…I was mad." I closed my eyes again; I tried to get away with saying nothing because I was still a little mad but he still just held me until I calmed down. After I relaxed, he let me go and backed off. "I'll go back and leave you alone now." He walked away. I just stood there for another minute or two, I didn't quite know what to do I decided to figure out what was bothering me more about Kadaj. The fact that he hurt me, or the fact that he was willing to admit his wrong when he wasn't intending on talking this whole problem out with me. I left the cave and went deeper into the forest. I had found a very peculiar looking rock that looked like part of a building in the middle of a clearing a week ago and I would leave camp to get some solitude there. I hadn't been walking long before I heard some thing that sounded like footsteps coming from in front of me. I quickly turned around and darted back. As I got near, I yelled out,

"Kadaj!"

"You've calmed down already?"

"No! I think we have uninvited company!" I almost ran into him as I got down into the ditch he was in gathering wood.

"I think I heard some one or multiple some ones around the cave area." He dropped the wood and ran back to the rock and tore into his backpack,

"Guard the dragon eggs!" he said. I grabbed the little blue bundle that the dragon eggs were in and ran to the top of the rock. "Esakatari you familiar with these?" He said throwing up three guns with some ammo,

"Ya, Yazoo showed me some shot moves." I said loading them up,

"Good, 'cause your gonna need 'em if this gets rough!" He said pulling out his sword. The footsteps got close to camp. "You ready?"

"I don't want to do this Kadaj!" I whined,

"Oh! Don't be such a girl!" He said,

"I am a girl!"

"Oh…then your in trouble." He said lifting his sword up,

"Kadaj!" I glared at him as he snickered, "Sexist!" I whispered. I crouched down as hard as I could without breaking the dragon eggs beneath me.

"Get ready." Kadaj said. He ducked down behind a bush, the footsteps came closer, I could hear voices,

"You sure it was this way?"

"Well, sounded like some thing or some one went over here."

"Be nice if we found that annoying dragon finally!" Soon the people came out from behind the brush,

"It doesn't look like anybody's here." One of them said,

"I could swear that I heard some thing!" The one of others said, there were three of them there. One of them was tall, almost as tall as Sephiroth and his hair was black. One was just about the size of Kadaj…looked a lot like him too. The last one I almost thought was Yazoo but his hair was also black; there was a few strands of his hair that were copper colored as well though. They where all dressed in some kind of black Chinese tunic with a dragon crest on their right side of their chests, I almost shot at one of them I was so nerves,

"_Not yet!" _I thought as I grabbed my hand and I looked down at Kadaj.

"Well, looks like some ones been here." The one who looked like Yazoo said pointing at the fire.

"Then who ever it was couldn't have left all that long ago ether." The Sephiroth looking one said coming closer to the camp. "Well, might as well look around while we're here." He continued as he got to the bush Kadaj was crouched down behind. As he passed, Kadaj shot up and slashed the guy on the arm. "What the hell?" The guy yelled as he whipped around grabbing his sword hilt, Kadaj jumped at him just as the guy got out his long sword. I recognized it as a wind blade. The two males started to mêlée around with one another, with one clean cut Kadaj sent the guy over on his back then he raised his sword up to pierce him.

"Hey! You can't do that!" The one who looked like Yazoo yelled pulling out a rather large gun, I shot at it and it went flying to the side. He started looking around,

"Really? I say he can!" I said with a pissed off look on my face as I glared at the men. The guy that seemed to be Yazoo picked up his gun from the ground and aimed at me,

"Will some one get this mongoose off me? He's tearing me apart!" The Sephiroth looking one yelled as Kadaj landed on top of him.

"Aw man! Hey you! Get off Sutara!" The Yazoo guy yelled running up behind Kadaj and getting ready to beat him in the head with the butt of his gun.

"You've seen WAY too many movies dude!" I jumped down on him. Suddenly there was a gunshot,

"HEY!" The Kadaj appearing male screamed out. We stopped our fighting and looked up, well, almost every one, the Yazoo looking guy ran behind a bush, the rest of us looked up at the boy who was now only some what surrounded by smoke. From the size of his gun I guessed what he possessed was a colt 405 or the 'Peacemaker' as most of the men around my home would have call it. He put the gun away in its holster …then he walked down slowly. "You boy ought to know better, attacking a lady and her escort! Forget that the lady is Esakatari! Don't you boys remember Esakatari?" I was shocked! Then I looked carefully at his face. His face did look familiar, a memory of a laughing little boy seemed to bear a resemblance to this mans features, the same little boy that proclaimed that no matter where I was he would find me again when I left home five years ago. The only boy who ever loved me for who I was instead of what I pretended to be to the others.

"…Constantine?" I asked unbelievingly, he turned around with a much warmer smile.

"Hello Neko girl." He said the way he would have always done; only one boy would know that particular nickname, it was what he called me when he knew I needed cheering up.

"OH MY GOD!" I jumped over and almost made him fall when I hugged him. "IS IT REALLY YOU? OH MY GOD! I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU!"

"Yes…I can see that." He said, the others started laughing at me, except Kadaj who was glaring at me,

"What you said was true! You did find me again!"

"You remember that?"

"Yes! Didn't you?"

"Of course I remember. It's been the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning." I giggled at the thought for a moment,

"Now…if you don't mind. I'd like to have my neck back?" Constantine laughed,

"Oh…sorry." I blush as I let go and backed off.

"Hey! If you knew the guy then why didn't you tell me?" Kadaj said tapping on my shoulder,

"I didn't know that it was him until he told me."

"And you are?" Constantine asked,

"Kadaj." He answered.

"Ah yes. I've heard of you." Constantine nodded,

"Well, can't say that I've heard of the rest of your party." Kadaj interjected.

"Oh yes, how rude of me. The tall guy YOU where fighting directly with is Sutara…he's a real pain some times…"

"Hey!" Sutara glowered at his companion.

"…Sorry! Any way…and the guns men…that maggot you see hiding behind that mint bush over there. Is Luther." Luther crawled out rather sheepishly,

"He, he…we can forget the hiding behind the bush part right?" He said with a fake smile on his face

"Luther? Is that you? The little boy who always picked on me for being taller than him?" I asked,

"Ya, We can forget about that too right?" Luther said blushing.

"Sure…right Luther." Constantine smiled

"Have you been out here a long time?" Sutara asked,

"Well um…" I started,

"Not really." Kadaj said. What was his problem? He seemed to always get us into worse trouble than we already were!

"You're welcome to come back with us if you've had enough."

"Oh well…" I started again.

"Hush women!" Kadaj cut me off I was sure that he was going to say no, "…Sure. We'll come. But we need to get our things first…I hope you wont remember the whole ambushing you bit too much!" He said.

"Forgotten it all ready." Sutara said winking.

"Well, let's go. Go get your crud Esa." He said shooing me off. I packed as fast as I could…I had forgotten the deer Kadaj had cut up and I ran into it. I screamed harder than ever. Kadaj came running up behind me and started laughing as I thought he would do. I was ready to slap him; I wish I had

"Is everything all right over there?" Constantine asked worried,

"No. Esakatari just found the cut up deer again."

"Oh." Sutara said, in a semi laughing voice,

"Come on guys. We should get there before it gets to dark. And right now it's almost twilight." Luther called out.

"Coming!" Kadaj yelled back as he picked up his bag and gathered some minor objects.

"I'm ready." I said standing up.

"Oh! The dragon eggs!" I ran back up to the rock's top, after I stuffed them into my leg pocket (I hadn't given them back to Kadaj yet!) I looked up at the sky. Luther was right! It was sundown. I ran back down, it was time to go at last.


	3. Going home

Disclaimer: I do not own Advent Children or Final Fantasy VII Square Enix does. 

**However, I do own Esakatari, Sutara, Luther and Constantine, they are my characters and you may not use them unless you have permission from me. **

_Going home_

When we got to where my old friends lived we where swarmed with a bunch of high pitch screaming girls. From what they said you could tell who they where after,

"Oh my god! It's you Sutara!" One screamed,

"Luther!" A group of 'em chant shouted. There were too many girls yelling to tell what they were saying about Constantine. I was kind of annoyed with them being there. Then they saw the new guy coming in or Kadaj as I mean.

"Who's he? He's hot!" One girl said looking over at Kadaj; I jerked my head up. I had never heard a girl say that about Kadaj before, and that was the only time I wanted to hear it ether...again, wanted to.

"Oh my god! He is! He's hot!" Another group of girls screamed an ear-piercing screech as they ran around Kadaj and pushing me away and onto the ground.

"Hey! Get off me! Sutara!" Kadaj tried yelling over the high-pitched girls,

"Kadaj? Hey! Easy on the coat!" Sutara answered.

"Kadaj! You all right?" I tried to get out but I wasn't heard,

"We'd better get out of here!" Luther said after he struggled out. I was still on the ground but I could tell that Kadaj was following Luther's lead; I knew it when he stepped on me!

"OW!" I squealed after he was on top of me.

"Oh, there you are Esa." He said getting off of me and pulling me up, the pain in my ribs was mostly gone from the rock incident, or at lest it WAS. Another swarm of girl separated me from him.

"Esa! Hey! Unhand me at once! Esa!" He yelled after me as I was pushed out again, I started fighting through the crowed with my pain growing worse with every attempt to get to him again. He reached over the girls to grab me but when I was with in reach I was pushed away again.

"Kadaj!" I yelled as I fell to the ground, the pain grew too much and I blacked out. When I woke up, the girls AND Kadaj where gone. I got up and dusted my self off then looked around the little town. As small as it was I didn't really want to try and find him tonight, besides, had lived in the back alleys before I met Kadaj and I could do it again. I was raised back there you could say, I was what you would call a 'dumpster child'. I was born in a dumpster and I lived in a dumpster until I ventured out and got caught between Kadaj and Cloud fighting. Still, something ether like a dumpster or a dumpster was where I felt at home for some weird reason, probably because I could run and hide in it when I was in trouble when I lived there. I got to the back alley and found a whole town in the back, which was normal to find if you ever have been back here. Most times people like me get back here and they're like a forgotten civilization or they get back here and disappear because the gangs found them and ether killed them or they joined in. I knew I was taking a fairly large risk being back here because Kadaj might forget about me and leave with out me. It hurt to think of it that way but that's what could happen, I shook the idea into the back of my mind and walked on. I hadn't gone far when I saw someone.

"Hey. Is there a place like a dumpster around here that's okay to live in for a while?" I asked the elderly man who was sitting on the curb. He was blind, I could tell because he looked up at the sky and he seemed to be happy with him self as he shook his cup with a few coins,

"Maybe if you go to the junco district." He answered sweetly with a smile,

"Thank you sir." I started walking (when you're a street child you tend to know what these areas are). Most people who hear my story say that I'm over humble. But I can't help it that I was a street child expected to steal my dinner my whole life. It annoyed me because it seemed that people where always seeming to judge me whenever I dared to tell my story so I just shut up about it and even lied about it. I got to the junco district and walked around, apparently there was more than one person who also got the idea to use a dumpster for a home. I finally found one that was unoccupied and crawled in. I'd look for Kadaj in the morning. When morning came, I was told by a bunch of trash collectors.

"Come on girl…get out for a minute." I quickly got out and moved on. I looked around the district and remembered how I would survive out here, I shook my head and then started to walk on then I heard a noise like someone was behind me and miss stepped. My instincts started to re-sharpen and I became a street child again. With the change in my instincts grew a change in my plan. I remembered why people would be forgotten back here, so much that I forgot why I even left my dumpster. I suddenly felt a cold, evil loneliness come over me and I went running back to it. I also remembered not having any friends I could trust and how horrible that was as I crawled back inside; all thoughts of Kadaj left my head. If needed, I could survive out here like this for weeks, all my instances where alive in me again and I forgot that I was supposed to find Kadaj. In about a day I got used to running away from people…I got used to not trusting any one and not having any one trust me, it was a colder world back here than it ever was with Kadaj and the people like him. Kadaj became a legend instead of a person to me again just like he had always been when I lived like this…I was only back here for one week though, it was almost time to go and THIS time, Kadaj came to MY doorstep. I was so used to the only people who came to me were people who wanted to harm me so when I heard him moving around from behind I bolted for cover. Every thing in my gut and in my heart screamed run as usual. I got to my dumpster and quickly crawled in…too late. What ever was chasing me grabbed my ankle just before I got in.

"Snap! I was so close!" I said struggling to get free.

"Snap? What did I do to you?" I heard Kadaj ask sounding just a little bit pissed. I was trying to turn around so he let me go.

"What the hell are you doing crawling into a dumpster for? Have you been here all this time? I've been looking everywhere for you! I was worried sick! Why didn't you come to find me? You could have been killed while you where out here!" He looked like he had been looking everywhere. His eyes where a little puffy, they where also sort of glazed over.

"Sorry. I'm just…" I stopped, because I had never told him where I came from in the dragon country, in fact I lied to Kadaj and I had told him that I was an ex-SOLDIER and that I knew who created Lord Sephiroth.

"Yes? I'm waiting." Kadaj said,

"Nothing."

"You where going to say some thing what was it?" He insisted,

"…I have been here all this time…I'm used to being in a dumpster…I'm a…a trash child you see. I was pretty much raised around these kind of parts." I looked to the ground with shame. It's not that I didn't want to look at him…it's that I couldn't look at him. I knew that I was of a lower class compared to him I couldn't stand to look at him, I had been taught all my life to think lowly of my self when in the presence of some one greater. He reached over and touched my shoulder.

"Why couldn't you tell this to me before?" I fought my self to keep from answering. I was even more ashamed of the reason than the truth.

"Don't ask." I said pulling back with my gaze still at the ground. His grip grew stronger,

"Don't even try to back away this time." He said in a commanding voice. I stopped but still looked at the ground. "Look at me." He said, sounding a little angry again, I still couldn't pull my sight up to look at him.

"I can't…I'm too ashamed of my self." I said fighting back tears all the way,

"Why?"

"I…" I couldn't finish, memories of how I lied to him came back to haunt me.

"Esa?" I still couldn't speak. _"I hate my self for lying to him!"_ Some how he heard my thought just then,

"When did you lie to me?" I jerked my head up and fixed my gaze into his eyes,

"How did you hear that?"

"I asked first." I dropped my gaze again.

"I told you that I knew Lord Sephiroth's creator a long with that I was kidnapped when I was two by another Advent who hid me away so that I could be used for some thing like a SOLDIER later…" I squeezed my eyes shut as the tears forced their way into my eyes.

"…None of that was true!" I said finally pulling my self away; Kadaj had a look of disbelief,

"Why did you…?" he started,

"I'm sorry!" I blurted out as I turned to run off.

"Hey!" He reached out and grabbed my wrist. "I was just going to ask…why did you think that I would reject you if you told me this?"

"I've been rejected most of my life for my true story! I didn't want to be rejected again!" I said hanging my head as I closed my eyes to stop the mourning inside. All I could think about was how he was going to leave me here in the same dumpster he found me in! The dumpster seemed to be then only place for me. I was focused on how he was going to leave that I didn't see that I was going to fall over until I couldn't stop my self. Kadaj pulled me up before I fell to far and then pulled me into his arms, he pressed me against him self as if I was going to break if he let go.

"I don't want to hurt you…I never want you to be hurt so brutally again." He whispered softly in my ear. I almost broke down right there. Instead, I buried my face in his chest. Now that he knew almost every thing about me…I felt safe in his arms in place of feeling like I was in a cage. I breathed deep and slowly as he ran his fingers threw my hair repeatedly. I didn't want to ever leave from this state of peace…once again, I didn't WANT to.

"Hey Kadaj! Did you find her?" Constantine yelled out suddenly from around the corner, I felt Kadaj flinch.

"Yeah! She's right here safe and sound!" He yelled back. He let me go and I started to walk away when I felt a tug on my arm and I looked back. Kadaj had grabbed my hand,

"You need to hold my hand now. I don't want you running off or getting separated from me again." He said smiling. I didn't say any thing, just smiled back and walked beside him.

"Am I going to have to hold on to you when ever we're in a city from now on then?" I asked after about a minute of silence,

"Yeah, until I get a girlfriend." He teased,

"Kadaj…that was not funny." He just laughed at me. I was partly kidding and serious about the hand bit. I couldn't help but feel like he was thinking the same way about the girlfriend bit too.

"Hey! You're alright!" Constantine said as we got up,

"Told ya she was okay." Kadaj said sarcastically, I let go of his hand and ran up to Constantine then gave him a big hug,

"I'm alright Nii-san." Kadaj's eyes blazed with anger like I had never seen before.

"_Niii-san? When did that come up?" _He screamed in my head.

"_Whoa! How the hell did he do that?" _

"_It's all thanks to the Advent stream thought life now…when did the Nii-san come in?" _

"_It's just something that I've called him since I could remember." _

"_Hmm! You never have names like that for me!" _Kadaj walked away,

"I think your friend's jealous of you calling me Nii-san." Constantine said looking over my shoulder at Kadaj.

"What? Why?"

"Well…he maybe in a conquering mood."

"A what?"

"Never mind…it has to do with his feelings."

"Why don't you just tell her what you mean Constantine?" Luther asked.

"Why don't you tell me if you know?" I suggested,

"I will! What he means is that he thinks Kadaj is in a defensive mood."

"Why?"

"Because…if he's jealous then that means that he likes you and he wants you to him self." I freaked.

"That is so sick!"

"Oh no! I didn't mean that way to him self. He just might want to keep other guys away from you so that no one else can…um…steal your heart but him."

"Steal my heart? Why would he want to steal my heart?" Luther gave me a look,

"Guess." Then he walked away. I thought about it then looked at Kadaj who looked like he was pissed off some thing bad.

"_Why would he want me that badly? Why would he even like me?" _

"_Because your pretty in your own way." _A male voice came into my head that I didn't recognize.

"Well, We should get packing…now that we have Esakatari with us we can go." Kadaj said getting up before I could figure out who the strange voice was.

"Go? Go where?"

"Home. We're going home finally." He said grabbing his bag.


	4. Journeys in the dark

Disclaimer: I do not own Advent Children or Final Fantasy VII Square Enix does. 

**However, I do own Esakatari, Sutara, Luther and Constantine, they are my characters and you may not use them unless you have permission from me. **

_Journeys in the dark_

To this day I don't really know why we had to travel at night on our way back home…I thought that it would be better if we traveled in the sun light but we didn't. The only thing I could guess was that we where traveling at night so that Constantine could practice his darkness absorbing powers. Whenever there was a large collection of shadows in a particular place Constantine would reach out and some how pull the dark matter into his fingers then throw it back out the same way when ever we where under the moon. Kadaj's behavior had been changing around me too; I could tell that he didn't like Constantine at all! He was constantly glaring at him whenever he saw Constantine with me. In fact…Kadaj didn't seem to like any of the boys when they where with me. But he showed his detest more at Constantine than any one else. He wouldn't stop glaring at him, and he was getting worse to him all the time.

"What is the matter with you?" I finally asked him when no one was around to hear but him and me.

"What are you talking about?"

"You're constantly staring at Constantine when he's with me like you're going to kill him!"

"Aw, You're just interpreting it wrongly that's all. I'm not glaring at him…I'm not even looking at him." I huffed as Kadaj got up and walked away. He didn't notice that I saw some thing of mine hanging out of his pocket as he walked off. It was a silver locket I loved so dearly…I had found it one day on the streets and I never took it off. Then one day the chain broke while I was play fighting with Lord Sephiroth and I couldn't find it. I was about to run up and demand it back but I waited till he got back. He acted like the whole reason why he left was to get wood. I glanced back when he might have thought I wasn't looking and I saw him pull the locket out and look at it a long time. I was puzzled on why he was so attracted to it like I had been once. He closed his hand around it whenever some one else could possibly see him obsessing over it or even see it at all then he'd just open his hand again and keep on looking at it. When people started settling down for the night he finally put it around his neck instead of in his pocket then hid it in his coat.

"_Hey! He put a new chain on it! He should have given it back to me!" _I was getting mad. "_Why is he consumed with that thing? He should have given it back to me! He's also been pushing the other boys away from me with his words even when they haven't done any thing! Why is he being such a jerk?" _I walked over to Constantine, I put part of my self in Kadaj's mind to see what his reaction was when I started talking to the others, Kadaj's head jerked up and he started glaring at Constantine again then first thing in his head was

'_Get away from her Constantine!_' Then when I kept talking to him his emotions changed from anger to agony then his thoughts changed,

'_Damn! Why do I have to go threw this torture? Just get away from her!_' Was the one that confused me, until his thoughts changed again as well as his emotions from agony back to anger…only it was way worse now!

'_If that guy doesn't get away from Esakatari soon! I'm gonna punch him in the nose! And I'll make sure his in PAIN before I leave him alone again!_' I glanced up, Kadaj's face now looked like the very devil! I quickly walked away then Kadaj got up and walked away again.

'_I'm starting to get tired of this game!_' was his last thought before I left his mind alone.

"We should regain strength before we continue." Luther said laying down his sleep area. Every one followed his example, that's when Kadaj did some thing very strange. He normally slept somewhere lonely but not tonight! He came over and clamed an area right between Constantine and me. When he thought no one was looking at him he pulled out his sword and hide it under his headrest.

"_Why is he doing this?" _Then I saw him glare up at Constantine and that's when I got wise.

"_He IS jealous! He's trying to keep the others from coming near me! Wha? Does he think he owns me or some thing? Or is it even possible that he…no way! Oh…I remember…Lord Sephiroth told him to make sure I was just the same way I left but this is way too much!" _I tried to think about some thing else, so I grabbed the little dragon eggs to check on them. They seemed almost ready to hatch! I got so excited that I almost yelled out. But instead I whispered over to Kadaj,

"Hey! The eggs are changing color!" He got up then walked over,

"Does that mean that they'll be out soon?"

"Yes! Yes it does!"

"Let me see." He sat down behind me. I turned around and faced him, we handed the eggs back and forth for a minute.

"Their colors vary…is there a reason for that?" he asked after he looked at one in particular.

"I think so but I can't remember what just now." I remembered what Jenova had told me right after I found these eggs,

"There's some thing I didn't tell you Kadaj…" He looked up, "…Jenova…was the one who lead me to the cave that day…she said so."

"Then there's obviously a reason for them being here." I looked up; he was still looking at the last one I had given him, it was the dark greenish-blue egg.

"Something interest about that egg?" I asked,

"I don't know what it is…" He said.

"You're probably attached to the embryo inside and don't know it." I said.

"Do you think that could happen?" He said looking up at last,

"It can AND most times it does." I answered; he looked back to the egg. I decided to see if he wanted it or not,

"Jenova never said I couldn't have help with raising them…" His glaze shot up,

"Okay!" He said smiling.

"…You want to raise it don't you?" he blushed and looked away.

"I don't have a problem with it." I said grinning,

"Bam!" He said looking down at the egg.

"Is that good or bad?"

"It's good." He said, his gaze pasted to the egg,

"You're going to have to keep it warm you know?"

"Don't care." He still didn't look up,

"It's not going to run away for no reason!" I said he finally looked up again.

"Sorry..." He blushed. "…Did Jenova tell you why she wanted you to find them?" I hesitated, she had also told me to keep the plan for the dragons a secret,

"…She did…but…she also told me to keep that underhanded."

"Oh, never mind…forget I asked." He handed the egg back to me,

"Wait…I thought we had said…"

"I shouldn't be raising it if there's a reason for it being here that you can't tell me." He walked away. I closed my eyes then looked down, I knew that the dragon wasn't going to be happy if it had bounded to Kadaj before it was born but…I didn't know if it HAD done that…and if it had then I had to tell him the reason for them being here or else the dragon would never listen to any one if Kadaj didn't raise it. Jenova had appointed me to take care of things…that meant that I had the final say so. I made my decision,

"Kadaj wait." He turned, "I know that if the dragon has bounded to you then…you're the only one who can raise it…it wouldn't listen to me…I'm not the one it chose. I'm going to have to trust you against what Jenova said." Luckily for me every one else was too caught up in some thing Sutara was doing to notice us,

"You don't have to do that if…"

"She wants them to be rider dragons." I cut him off. I felt like I had betrayed the most important secret that I was given, Kadaj raised his eyebrows.

"…Well, at lest now I know you're willing to tell some one who you can trust to keep quiet about what you're told." Kadaj said surprisingly,

"Wha…?"

"Jenova told me as well, she also said that one of them WAS going to bound to me."

"It would have been nice to know that earlier!" I said glaring at him.

"But then she wouldn't have been able to test you."

"Test me? On what?"

"To see if you trust any one else but your self. She wants you to stretch out and give your self away a little bit more." Constantine walked up,

"What's going on guys?" I saw Kadaj clench his teeth then relax and smile before he answered,

"I'm sorry. We can tell you that." Constantine looked for a moment at Kadaj with a raised eyebrow,

"Is this true?" He asked me.

"Yes. I'm sorry. It has to do with the reason why we're even out here." I explained as I took the liberty of getting into Kadaj's head to see what he was thinking.

'_Get lost Constantine! Leave Esakatari and me alone!' _

"I'm going to help put that fire out now." I said as Constantine left, I hadn't realized I wasn't out of Kadaj's thought before I heard the thought go through his head,

'_No! She's leaving me!' _I didn't pay attention to it; I just pulled my self out as fast as I could,

"So, Esakatari? You like this guy Kadaj?" Constantine asked when I got down.

"Not that way. I was kind of forced to have him for a companion on this journey."

"Well…even if you don't want to admit it he likes you…I can feel it." Luther interjected,

"Why?"

"You're not as ugly as you paint your self in the mirror when you look in it." Luther smiled, Sutara cut into the conversation saying,

"Even if you weren't physically attractive your personality is also appealing."

"So you're saying that he likes me for the way I look AND the way I acted?"

"Those could be some reasons yes." Constantine said finally putting out the fire.

"You boys…" I said rolling my eyes. Unexpectedly there was a snapping sound of a branch not to far away. Every one's attention shot up towards where the sound came from.

"Could have been a deer." I said shrugging,

"That's sound was to big to have been an accident caused by a deer." Kadaj said jumping down from the rock behind me.

"I agree with Kadaj…it sounded more like more like a human than an animal." Luther chimed in,

"You think there could be an attack?" I asked starting toward the rock

"I don't just think there's going to be one I know it!" Sutara said grabbing his sword. I ran over and got my guns,

"I may need these again." I said strapping the ammo around my chest.

"Get up on that rock and guard the eggs." Kadaj whispered to me. In one jump I was on top, the eggs where right behind me so I grabbed them and put them under me as I lied down on my abdomen to hide.

"It's to late at night for this." Kadaj moaned slinking behind a large bush to conceal him self.

"Keep talking. If you keep talking that loudly they may just find out where you are." Constantine said mockingly as he followed him,

"Oh ho!" I whispered to my self, unless Kadaj felt like it was going to be stupid to pull any thing now…he would get Constantine bad!

"Please don't do any thing." I prayed as I saw Kadaj's face go to a pissed off look and his eye slits contracted again as he growled deep in his throat when he saw Constantine beside him. Constantine didn't seem to notice it,

"So Kadaj? You like Esakatari?" Constantine asked after a minute, I knew this was a bad time along with he was a bad person to be asking that.

"What's it matter to you buddy?" Kadaj snapped narrowing his eyebrows at him.

"It was just a question." Constantine said shrugging. Kadaj gritted his teeth again,

"So YOU like her too! Don't you?" He growled at him,

"I never said I did I just…"

"You might as well have said it! I'm warning you! Stay away from her! And I won't have to get rough with you!" Kadaj's eyes blazed.

"Kay…it was just a question though."

"I said! Keep the hell away! Don't even get near her!" Kadaj said through gritted teeth. I shied away; I didn't want to ever hear a boy of my age that wasn't a relation of mine to say that about me to another boy.

"_Oh, man! What do I do? No…he's just protecting me." _There was another snapping sound then a large group of maybe twenty came out from behind the bushes on the other side. They shouted out in some language that the others wouldn't have spoken in but it was the language that my people used all the time. They shouted out things like,

"Where are all these people you said you saw?" Then some one would answer,

"I don't know…I saw them a minute ago." They started arguing.

"Now's a good time to attack with your power over darkness powers Constantine." I whispered to him. He boldly jumped out from behind the bush.

"Hello!" He shouted extending his hand forward; they started running towards him and they where almost on top of him when he sent the dark matter from his fingertips.

"Kadaj! Go!" I shouted to him loading my guns, Sutara was already out from behind his hiding place slashing at who ever dared to come out from the black abyss where he stood, Kadaj started doing the same. As more and more men started finding new places to come out, I shot at them sending them back into the darkness.

"You shouldn't bother people who are twice your strength children." Luther said beating some of them back with his ninja sticks…occasionally throwing his shuriken stars at them. After about an hour of this tactic Constantine pulled the darkness back into his hand, reveling twenty some odd men all beaten up and bleeding, they jumped up and retreated followed by Luther and Sutara chasing them off with their swords out.

"Good job." Kadaj said to me as I jumped down,

"Thanks…but if it weren't for Constantine we would all be bug juice." Kadaj looked at him then gave a some thing like a thanks, when the others got back we decided to put a guards man out to make sure they didn't come back. I went back up on the rock and grabbed the eggs. I counted them and found one missing!

"Kadaj! One…" I stopped when he showed the missing egg to me,

"…Oh, I remember." I blushed and walked over to my somewhat bed.

"Right." Kadaj said when I lied down. I drifted off to sleep after ten seconds.


	5. My Lord Sephiroth

Disclaimer: I do not own Advent Children or Final Fantasy VII Square Enix does. 

**However, I do own Esakatari, Sutara, Luther and Constantine, they are my characters and you may not use them unless you have permission from me. **

_My lord Sephiroth_

We got up early that morning so that we could put a lot of ground behind us, the first thing Kadaj did when he woke up was glare at Constantine as he sat up. I wasn't completely awake my self so I didn't do any thing about it. (Kadaj is snappy when he first wakes up any way.)

"Kadaj?" Sutara asked, "Why do you constantly glare at Constantine?"

"I'm not glaring!" He snapped at him.

"Hey! Kadaj!" I butted in, "He didn't deserve that! It was just a question! Calm down!" I looked fiercely at him; he shied away and started collecting his junk.

"He's so annoying after a while!" I walked over to the others,

"Aw, He might have been nicer had we not been around." Sutara said. I looked over at Kadaj, and then I noticed what seemed like a change in the way he moved. He moved more slowly than he ever did…even for the morning. I had seen men get this way before…customarily this was a sign of depression. But some times Kadaj got the idea in his head that it was going to be a bad day so he moved more slowly, he normally seemed happier later in the day so I didn't pay much attention to it. I thought that if he seemed to be sad later as well then I would talk to him.

It didn't take long to eat so we quickly got on our way. It bothered me that Kadaj didn't eat any thing...most times in the morning I would remind him that we had to go soon, he would eat so much. I wanted to ask him about it but he walked in the back so it was hard to talk to him since I had to stay where Sutara could see me if some one attacked, I guess he was just trying to protect me. Some thing inside my heart pulled at me, some thing kept screaming 'Kadaj isn't okay.' But I ignored it, I don't know why. Eventually we stop 'cause Kadaj had gotten to far behind.

"I need to talk to him." I said running back to him. When I got there I almost didn't recognize Kadaj's face. I was used to it being bright, it was covered in some despairing darkness that covered his entire body.

"Hey. Are you okay?" I asked worriedly,

"Yeah, I'm fine." He partly snapped at me, "Why don't you go back to Constantine!" He said Constantine's name with so much bitterness that I knew what ever was wrong it had to do with him. He marched away; I sent a mind message to Luther,

"_Tell the others to keep going. I need to talk to Kadaj alone." _No sooner had I sent it then they were moving on ahead. I knew that Kadaj was angry so I had to risk being punched to help him. I took a deep breath then called out,

"Kadaj." He stopped, a moment past before he spoke.

"I'm…" I waited. "I'm…not telling you the truth. And I wanted you to do that a few weeks ago. I'm not doing as well as I used to." He finally admitted he placed his head in his hand as if his head was in pain.

"I just wish…Sephiroth was here. I know that's weird for me to say but it's how I feel." He then walked over to a rock on the side and sat on it. He rested his elbows on his knees, let his shoulders forward and hung his head. I also took a deep breath before he said any more. "I'm sorry for the way I've been acting lately. I don't know why I have been acting that way."

"And you think if you just talk to Lord Sephiroth thing will be alright?" He looked up,

"Yes."

"Okay…even more of a reason to get home faster…let's goes." I held out my hand, he grabbed it and I pulled him up. Soon we joined up with the others. Kadaj still looked like some one was going to kill him. I looked back a lot just hoping his face would get brighter. It never did,

"We're not to far away from Midgar now…if we don't stop we'll be there in about an hour." Luther called out from in front. Kadaj's face suddenly lightened up, he ran ahead to Luther.

"I guess he can wait to get back huh?" Sutara snickered behind me. Constantine joined in with him. I could scarcely wait my self…we had been gone for a year now and I was dying to see every one again!

"Move faster!" Kadaj yelled picking up his own pace. I ran ahead also with phenomenal speed to join up with him. We must have run most the way with some inhuman strength because we were exhausted after about a half an hour later.

"You guy! I hope you're able to move!" Sutara yelled over the last hill,

"Hah, ha! Very funny Sutara!" Kadaj laughed,

"No really! I hope you can still move! Move it!" Sutara yelled as he ran over the hill with his sword out. After Constantine and Luther ran over the hill with their weapons out we saw what was scaring them and what Luther was shooting at. Much to my own disgust Cloud, Tifa, and Reno Where all right behind them.

"I'll get the black haired weird guys!" Reno yelled out running after the others,

"Aw blast it!" Kadaj yelled running after the black haired trio, I turned around and darted for my life.

"Kadaj! Get back here!" Cloud yelled out from behind,

"I don't think so! We don't feel like fighting you right now!" I yelled back shooting at him. He jumped to one side and kept on my heels,

"Hey Kadaj! I hope this girl isn't all that important to you!" Tifa yelled. Then I felt something heavy land on me. I went rolling off the road. I was so startled that I didn't scream for a moment, I felt something massive grabbed me with a strong grip and it went rolling down the hill and landed on top of me I got a deep breath in finally and screamed with all my might.

"Esakatari!" I heard Kadaj yell out, my eyes where shut but I could feel Cloud's cold blade on my neck and I opened my eyes.

"Let's go! I've got her!" He said pulling me away.

"Esa! Struggle out! Don't just stand there limp!" Luther yelled out Kicking at Reno,

"Let…me…GO!" I got a hold of my gun and shot it at his foot. He jumped that one too but at lest I was free now. I twirled around and faced him with my Velvet Nightmare pointed at his face.

"Dare to do touch me again and I'll kill you!" I said with a dark voice. Cloud ducked and rolled over to me then kicked the gun out of my hands.

"What are you going to do now?" He said jumping up.

"One last trick!" I said, as he got close. Pulling off my jacket I drew out my wind blade, which clashed against his sword.

"You see? I'm not just a gunman!"

"Whoa! Where did you get one of those?" I grinned at him,

"Ask my Lord Sephiroth!" I yelled as I slashed at him. He fell to the ground with a bleeding arm. He got back up just in time to jump my next hack at him. He flipped into the air and landed on the rock behind, he had slit his sword again so he now faced me with two blades instead of one, I never thought that was fair. I jumped up, flipped, and landed two inches away from him, we started our own little duel, I felt a rush of energy surge through my body as I continuously clashed swords with him, but I had never fought Cloud before on my own so I didn't know how to start. When he shifted his weight I slashed him at that side. But soon that tactic didn't work. After a long sweaty ten minute he had figured out all my weaknesses,

"Aaah!" I yelled as he slashed me one last time and I fell to the ground. My weapon fell out of my hand when I landed and Cloud had put his foot on it before I could grab it again. I just lied there…staring at what could be my doom giver.

"Nice try…but it's game over for you." He said grabbing me by my shirt; he dragged me up off the ground. He then pulled a smaller sword out from his larger one. I squeezed my eyes tightly; I knew this was my end.

"_My Lord I'm so sorry for failing you!" _I thought as I forced my eyes open.

"Hiya!" I heard Kadaj's battle cry just before he kicked Cloud onto the ground. I quickly retrieved my weapon as Kadaj distracted Cloud.

"You're not taken Esakatari's life today my friend!" Kadaj yelled when he had kicked Cloud's sword to the ground, Then Kadaj yelled out again,

"Or any other day for that fact! Not when I'm around to stop you in your path!" After of which he kicked him to one side. I quickly regained my strength only to have to lose it again as Tifa came soaring down. She kicked me to the side the kicked me again, forcing my wind blade out of my hands.

"No body's going to push me around like that!" I said flipping into the air reclaiming my blade again. When she got up to me I slashed her to the ground. But she just flipped back up to her feet and kept on kickin' until I lost my blade again,

"Oh! So you wanna do things the hard way huh!" I said getting ready for a hand-to-hand squaring match. Tifa was way harder to hit then Cloud, and it didn't take as long for her to see my weaknesses as it did Cloud ether! Tifa kicked me to the ground then landed on top of me.

"Crap!" I yelled,

"You should pick your fights better." Tifa said smiling as she pulled out a rope.

"LORD SEPHIROTH!" I screamed,

"Off!" I thought I heard him say, and then Tifa seemed to then be pulled off me. I struggled up and saw Lord Sephiroth throw Tifa at the wall. He had his own blade out along with mine beside him on the ground

"You shouldn't lose this." He said turning around and giving it back to me.

"My lord." I said bowing when I took it.

"You'd better go to helping Kadaj out of the scrape he's gotten into again." He said playfully,

"If it means making fun of him later." I answered, he laughed. As we got close to where Kadaj and Cloud where fighting Kadaj came flying from the sky down into the ground.

"Ouch. That must have hurt." Sephiroth laughed looking down at him.

"Ow. I can't feel my legs."

"I can! Get 'em off me!" I yelled crawling out from under him.

"You stay here with him…I'll take care of Cloud." Sephiroth said flying up after Cloud as he past by. I saw Tifa pick up a bluish bundle of cloth.

"The dragon eggs!" I screamed running towards her. I body slammed into her and grabbed the egg bundle from her hand before she went flying into the wall again.

"What?" She asked getting up, I looked down at the eggs and pressed them against my chest, then I looked up and glared at her as she started to run.

"You're in trouble now!" I said placing them on the ground beside me and running after her, I flung her up into the air and kicked her over my head as she came down. When she landed and got back up again I ran up and grabbed her shoulders, I flipped over her and used my strength to fling her across the field I ran back to grab the eggs then ran over to where Kadaj lay limp on the ground.

"This isn't funny! I can not move at all!" I picked him up off the ground and jumped to an area covered with the white trees. I gently placed him on the ground, resting his head against a rock.

"Are you all right? What happened to you?"

"I don't know…" He said weakly,

"Try moving your legs." I said. He didn't move.

"Kadaj are you paralyzed!"

"I don't know! That's what's so scary!" He squeezed his eyes shut.

"Can you move you're arms?"

"No." Now I was scared too!

"What! Why?" I almost started crying. He looked up at me,

"Get Sephiroth."

"No! I wont leave you!" I grabbed his hand. He closed his eyes and smiled.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing." He said. About ten seconds later Lord Sephiroth came from the trees, parts of his coat had slashes of blood, as I would expect

"He needs to get out of here." He said.

"He can't move." I explained.

"Why?"

"We don't know." I said putting my forehead on Kadaj's arm. Sephiroth came closer. Kadaj slowly opened his eyes.

"…Where are the others?" Kadaj asked,

"Who?"

"Constantine, Luther and Sutara."

"Oh them…they're back home. They took care of Reno…he was always a bit of a klutz." Kadaj nodded at him then looked away.

"Much to my shame Sephiroth…but it looks like I'm going to have to be carried back home." Kadaj said quietly.

"You take his arms and I'll take his legs." Sephiroth said to me.

"_It's to bad we don't have those rider dragons." _Kadaj whispered into my head, he simply smiled at me. Sephiroth and I lifted him up and carried him back the rest of he way.

I had begged Lord Sephiroth to let me stay out side of the room while they were trying to find out what happened to Kadaj. It was the longest most upsetting five hours of my life even to this day. I closed my eyes. I felt like I was to blame for what ever happened to him.

"What if he's going to be paralyzed for life?" I whispered, I would feel awful if that happened. I fought my emotions that screamed in my head that I should have gone home. I was about to leave when Lord Sephiroth came out from the other room. I jumped up…almost into his face.

"What happened? Is he all right? Is he going to be this way forever? Will he…?"

"Whoa…slow down Esakatari." He said grabbing my shoulder.

"He's fine except that he still can't move. What happened was odd but it makes sense to me. He's been depressed lately and now he's paying for not seeking help."

"I don't quite understand what you mean." I said puzzled.

"He's paralyzed because he's been so depressed lately. Once he's ether not as depressed or not depressed at all he will be able to move again." I let out a deep breath. I had been so worried about him.

"It's going to be some time before he can move and though. Depression is hard to kill or even weaken." Sephiroth added as he walked to the door leading outside.

"Where are they going to keep him?" I asked, expecting the name of some weird place or an asylum.

"Back home…he'll heal faster there."

"There's some good news. I have to go. I need to tell the others." I sprinted off. The boys where all outside my apartment building when I got there, I had asked them to meet me after I got the reports.

"He'll be okay."

"What do you mean by 'he'll be' as in 'he will be'…I would have thought that if it was some thing temporary that he would have come back with you?" Luther raised an eyebrow.

"No. He's paralyzed because he's been depressed lately…when that mostly leaves he'll be able to get up again." I explained.

"Oh…then we should have gotten him here sooner…then he might have been able to move after he talked to some one." Constantine said, I knew he was right but deep down I hated him for saying that, I already felt like it was MY fault that he was like this by now!

"Are they going to put him in a weird place?" Sutara asked.

"Nope, they're sending him to stay home until the depression lifts. They said he'd heal better there."

"Well, they're right. I hope we can help him." Luther said,

"I don't think he likes me very well." Constantine added after a moment of silence.

"Why?" I inquired,

"Because of something HE should tell you and I'll say no more."

"Constantine!" I said rolling my eyes.


	6. Stricken

Disclaimer: I do not own Advent Children or Final Fantasy VII Square Enix does. 

**However, I do own Esakatari, Sutara, Luther and Constantine, they are my characters and you may not use them unless you have permission from me. **

_Stricken_

My hand was on the doorknob but I still didn't enter the room. Kadaj had been asking for me to come and see him for a week now, but deep down inside I didn't want to see him the way he was. I closed my eyes, there was a lot of times when I wished that I had live somewhere else, in a different generation and this was one of those times. I knew what I should do…I just didn't want to do it. I breathed in deeply then forced my self to open the door. Kadaj was lying on his bed. He turned his head when he head the door shut behind me.

"Hi. Not like I don't know but how are you?" I said smiling as I walk in. He grinned then extended his hand towards me. I was stunned,

"Wow. They have been helping you a lot haven they?" I said.

"No…not really. But when you came in I felt a strength enter into my body." He said. I reached out and grabbed his hand,

"So far since you've come in you've been the best medicine for my recovery." I blushed, "What? What's wrong with that?" He said,

"Nothing…I was just expecting you to say some thing else." I said looking into his eyes. He smiled then closed his eyes as he held onto me. I started thinking about all the times he was there for me when I didn't feel so good then I reached out and touched his face.

"There have been times you where there for me when no one else was…I guess I owe you some thing other that appreciation." He didn't say any thing but I knew what he was thinking. I picked him up gently then I sat behind him as I slowly put him back down. I wrapped my arms around him as he opened up his eyes again. He reached up and rubbed my face a while,

"You really do care about what happens to me don't you?" I didn't say anything…I didn't have to. He knew exactly what I was thinking. His hand traveled down and he held my arm.

"I'm feeling better already." He said smiling again. I squeezed him a little then I looked up at the clock, I was told to keep my meeting short…I don't know why but I had to keep them brief. I closed my eyes,

"The doctors told me to keep my meetings with you short. I'm sorry but I…"

"No!" His grip on my arm grew tight. "Don't leave me. Please!" He begged, I looked down he was crying. "I don't know when you'll come back. I've been waiting all week to see you! Don't you understand? You're healing me better than anything they've given me!" Part of me screamed stay but part of me started pulling to the door. As he held on to me, I felt like he was threatening to die if I left right now.

"Kadaj I'm sorry but they said to keep it short…I don't know why."

"They never meant this short! Why are you trying to get away from me?" I didn't want to tell him, but again, I didn't have to say anything. He looked up at me, "I can't exactly help it that it played out this way. I can't exactly help it that I can't move." I saw deep inside his eyes, something shattered at the thought of me leaving him at all. His voice started shacking, "Don't go, not yet. I've been tormented all week without you. Please don't make me let go of you just yet. Please!" I closed my eyes,

"Okay…I'll stay." He sighed with relief,

"Hold me closer." He said. I pulled him closer up and rested my head on top of his. "I don't want this to ever go away…promise me you'll come back soon when you leave. At most two days later."

"Kadaj I…"

"Promise me." he said looking into my eyes, a moment passed before I answered.

"I will. I promise." He closed his eyes and rested on my shoulder.

"This is awful, it's the first time in a week I get to see you and I'm tired."

"Then I'd better leave. You need your rest."

"No. Don't go. Let me sleep here a while. Right here in your arms where I'm safe. You've slept in my arms before haven't you? You should understand right?" I rested my forehead against his. I would hold him until he feel asleep then I would leave. About ten minutes later, he started breathing slowly and I put him back on his pillow. I brushed his silver hair back from his face and kissed his cheek softly before I left. He seemed to know I did that because right after I stood back up he smiled. I turned and went to the door; I stopped and looked back at him a while before left the room. As I walked outside, I looked back at his window. I wouldn't be gone very long, just a few minutes and I'd be back there. As I turned to walk on, I saw a cat. He was just a little black cat but something else caught my attention. The cat was just lying there, almost as if he was dead. Another cat came along with some food. This cat was white with beautiful deep blue-green eyes, like mine. The white cat came over and put the food on the ground then walked over and started pushing the other cat up to stand. I watched as the white cat help feed the black one. The white cat started grooming the black one as he ate what she brought. When the black cat had his fill, the white cat snuggled next to him, after a little bit they fell asleep. I couldn't help but feel like that was a little bit like what was going on with Kadaj and me only I wasn't taking very good care of him. I hung my head and walked on.

"Is he feeling better?" Sutara asked as I came to the door.

"Yes, I think so."

"You're not just saying that are you?" Luther added.

"No, I'm not." I walked into my apartment.

"I'm going back as soon as I'm done around here…you boys wanna come?"

"Neko girl." Luther said looking at me hard. "Kadaj hasn't asked for use to see him for a week, just you."

"So? What difference does that make?"

"He wants to see you. Not us. Just you, alone." Constantine said as he came in from behind me.

"Fine…what ever." I said getting to work on the cloths.

"We'll be back later…got some things to do." Sutara said getting up and waving his hand to get the others to follow.

"Kay…see you later guys." I said; the memory of the white and black cats kept playing repeatedly in my head. I kept seeing the white cat taking care of the black one and not leaving the black on in the cold. Every time it played in my head I wanted to go back and see Kadaj, but seeing him bed-stricken was hard to look at.

"_It's easier on me to just…" _I stopped when I saw one word I had used. _"Me! I'm not thinking about him! I was mad at him about a month ago for not thinking about me when he did or didn't do something! I'm stricken by my fear! That's just as bad as being in a cage if not worse!" _I discontinued folding the cloths and left again, this time I was going to stay as long as I could. When I went before I had the wrong attitude, this time I was going to try to help him…if he was awake, I started to run. On the way I bummed into Yazoo, yet I didn't know it was Yazoo at the time so I started yelling at him after I

Re-gained my senses,

"Hey! Watch where you're going ya big baboon!"

"Excuse me? What did you call me?" Yazoo said getting up and dusting him self off. I jerked my head up to look at him, he was mad…it was written all over his face.

"Whoops! I didn't know it was you." I said,

"And you would have thought that but you wouldn't have said that is that it? I'm glad that you didn't know it was me in THAT case!"

"Sorry." I blushed looking down a the ground,

"Well, You can stand up at lest." He said grabbing my arm and pulling me up, he grabbed my right arm, which still was sore even after a month worth of healing,

"Ow!" I pulled away and held my rids,

"Wha, oh. Kadaj said that he caused that didn't he? Yeah, he thinks that's why you've been trying to get away from him as well as why you haven't been seeing him." Yazoo said,

"No, that's not it at all. It's because I didn't want to see his freedom taken away from him but I'm sorry for thinking that way now."

"Oh. Well, there are worse things in the world then seeing some one's freedom taken away."

"Not many."

"You're right…but I've seen one of the worse things. And from what I've seen I'd rather see freedom taken away then happiness." He continued,

"Oh really? What's do you mean?"

"What a man looks like, feels like, and acts like when what he wants the most wont come to him." I dropped my gaze.

"You mean when I wouldn't come right?"

"That's right. I think you should be thinking about that." With that, Yazoo walked away. I would continued on my way after I picked my stuff back up that fell out of my pockets, I came across something that Kadaj had given me that I had forgotten about. It wasn't much, just a stone I had wanted a while ago. I had dropped it and it fell down into a pile of other rock. Kadaj was with me at the time and he told me to just leave it. I went back to the spot to find it again only I found Kadaj digging through every thing. After a minute of watching him I stood up,

"Yes! I found it!" He said cheerfully as he held the stone,

"You found my stone?" I asked, he turned around.

"Yep, it took me an hour to find it but I did." He smiled as he gave it back. I said I would never forget what he did for me. One of my tears fell on the stone as I remembered.

"I didn't even really say thanks to him and he went through all that work just to find it to make me happy." Standing up I put the stone back in my pocket, I had never gone out of my way to do things like that for him but he did that constantly for me with out complaining. "Kadaj." I whispered as I turned to walk on, I ran back harder now then I had before. However, when I got there Kadaj wasn't present.

"Where is Kadaj?" I asked some one,

"He's gone to his counselor again miss, I'm sorry I would have told you but I thought you knew." The janitor said to me.

"All right. I'll just wait here for him if you don't mind miss…?"

"Harada, and I don't mind at all."

"Miss Harada, thank you." I sat down. I started falling asleep after waiting for an hour then I saw some one come in with some one on a wheelchair.

"I think that would be Mister Kadaj now Miss Esakatari." Miss Harada said.

"Oh, okay. Thank you." I ran up the stairs and I was ready to see him only to be blocked at Kadaj's door by some one.

"Hold it! You're not wanted right now." A man said grabbing me.

"No, no, you don't understand. I'm Esakatari, he'll want to see me if he's awake."

"He is awake but he wont want to see you." He insisted.

"What is it now doctor?" Kadaj's some what tired muffled voice came from inside.

"No one sir. I'll take care of this." He said.

"Oh, I didn't realize that you were…I'm sorry I'll leave now." I said backing away.

"Esa? Is that who's out there? I know that voice I've heard it before." Kadaj said.

"I'll come back another time. I don't want to go against what you advise if he should rest." I whispered as I starting to walk away.

"I know that voice, it is Esa. Bring her in here. I want to see her." Kadaj commanded

"But sir, your condition forbids it." The doctor said.

"I didn't tell you to reason with me doctor! I told you to let her in here now DO IT!" Kadaj ordered one last time.

"Tell him that if he isn't in any condition to see any one then I'll come back when…"

"I can hear you threw the door Esa, don't try to whisper. I'm always in the condition to see you. Hey Doc'? You quake! Didn't you hear me? Let her in already!" Kadaj said.

"I think it's a matter of him not willing to recover if you don't go in now." The doctor said stepping aside.

"Just a question, why shouldn't he be in the condition to see any one?"

"I thought he would be tired of seeing people. I guess things change when you're around." He opened the door for me, there where others in the room including Lord Sephiroth.

"If you gentlemen don't mind, I'd like to be left alone with Miss Esakatari now." Kadaj said waving his hand to ask them to leave. They left like he asked them to.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know that…I should have…"

"Save it. You're the one that can help me." Kadaj smiled. "Not to complain but I thought you wouldn't come back for a while…what changed your mind?"

"I saw some things that made me think about the real reason why I left early. It's kind of a long story."

"Well, I've got no where else to go." Kadaj teased,

"It's kind of cheesy to."

"I don't care…I've heard way too much serious talk…what was it?"

"Well, it started when I left the first time…I saw two cats."

"Is one black and the other white?" Kadaj asked.

"How did you know?"

"I've often seen those cats running around outside. They take care of each other as if they're the only one's in the world who can help one another. But…what do they have to do with this?"

"That's attached to another thing that happened on my way here. I bummed into Yazoo on my way over here, after he left, I saw that some stuff had fallen out of my pocket and that there was some thing important that also fell out. I don't think you'd remember this but it's a stone that I had lost and you found for me a few months ago. This one." I pulled out the black marbled stone from my pocket.

"Oh yeah. I remember that stone. You where pretty upset about losing it."

"I never asked before but…why did you take the time to find it? I'm grateful you did find it for me but why did you do it?"

"I know what it's like to lose something you hold dear, even if it wasn't the same as what I lost I knew it didn't matter…plus I wanted to see you smile. Up to that time I had almost never seen you smile for anything even when it was good which didn't happen all that often."

"…Did you really want to see me smile?"

"Yeah, when you did, it was something special because you where truly happy." He closed his eyes and fell back against the pillow. "Memories of when people where happy can heal a broken spirit you know." I didn't quite know what to say…but like last time I did have to say anything, my thoughts where enough. "Esakatari…Don't feel bad because of what happened to me. It wasn't your fault that this happened to me. It was mine."

"Yes but…I could have helped you. I could have stopped this from happening. I could have…" I was cut off because Kadaj had reached out and grabbed my hand and had pulled me over closer to him…I almost fell on him in fact.

"You don't get it do you?" Kadaj said staring straight into my eyes. "I'm the one who should be upset about this. If I had told some body, I would be all right. As it is I didn't and so I get what I had coming to me. Stop blaming your self…I don't even think you had anything to do with this and so you should be the last one putting any kind of heavy load on your back…I want you with me because there is some things that only you can help me with."

"Like what?" I asked. He looked up at me.

"Like letting me know that you're willing to over come some thing that you don't like to help some one else. I mean that you didn't want to come here because I couldn't move and you couldn't stand seeing that. Nevertheless, you still came because you wanted to help me. That's better than some one who's seen it so many times that it doesn't bother them any more like the quacks they send me to so I can get over this thing. I'm inclined to believe that if you where the only one who helped me that I could get over it just as fast if not faster because of your willingness to do anything to help." I was glad to hear that at lest SOMETHING was going to help him. However, even though all this was going on. I couldn't help but feel like there was something lurking around in the darkness that Kadaj was trying to hide from me. There was something weird in his eyes that seemed to be hiding from me.


	7. Enfolding Darkness

Disclaimer: I do not own Advent Children or Final Fantasy VII Square Enix does. 

**However, I do own Esakatari, Sutara, Luther and Constantine, they are my characters and you may not use them unless you have permission from me. **

_Enfolding Darkness_

Just as I thought, Kadaj started to complain about nightmares that he was having, this had happened before. Yet one in particular kept haunting him, but he never told any one what it was, how I found out about it was he said something about 'that one in particular returned again to bother him'. Day after day, his condition started going down instead of continuing to get better, the darkness of his depression seemed to be growing worse instead of improving. He blamed what was happening on some demonic power that kept sending him the dark dreams he had been having recently. In addition, as the month went by he started to talk as if he was scared of something that was going to kill him whenever he said that this one nightmare was becoming increasingly vivid every night. I started getting worried about Kadaj; he was on the road to recovering from his condition, now we where back to point one 'cause Kadaj couldn't even move his hand any more since the dreams where haunting him. He kept saying that he would get up soon but he never did.

"He's just going through a tough time right now. First he lost his freedom…now this, give it time. It'll clear up." Be came the doctor's favorite thing to say and I started to agree with Kadaj when he called them 'quakes'. The more I saw him…the more that he was going through more than just a 'hard time'. He wouldn't eat, he would hardly sleep since the nightmare started getting to the point where he swore it actually happened, and he wouldn't even try to do anything any more! It was as if he was begging to die!

"Kadaj! You can't do this! We need you up and out of this bed now come on and at lest TRY to move around!" I would plead with him day after day. He wouldn't even listen to me any more. One day, I tried to take care of him for the last time. After an hour of the usual pleads for him to try and help him self he said,

"When I go to the other side. Please forget me…that I ever existed in your life. Apparently there is no cure any more. It's ended. I think my time is over down here." Then he closed his eyes and looked the other way. I felt my heart break after he said that.

"No! I'll never forget you! NEVER!"

"Esakatari…you've done your best for me. And I'm grateful that you made these last days better for me. However, don't stricken your self to me. Let me go. The nightmares I've been having are getting to the point where I can swear they're real! Whatever it is that made me this way is stuck inside me forever. I can't escape that without death's help." Kadaj finished, I started to cry.

"No Kadaj! Please don't say that! Oh my god! What do I do?" I whispered,

"_Take him where he's afraid to go." _Jenova's ordered in my head. I jump.

"Huh?"

"_You heard me. Take him where he's afraid to go!"_

"Well where the hell is that?" I asked the air thinking she was in the room somewhere. A vision of me placing Kadaj in a pool of black water and him struggling and screaming entered my thoughts.

"Whoa! Where did that come from?"

"_That's the first part of his re-occurring nightmare that he wouldn't tell you about. Take him to the waters of the 'Forgotten City'. If the water turns black when any part of him touches it then lower him into the darkness, which will be what the waters will turn into when he's in there. I will take care of him from there." _

"What if the water doesn't turn black?"

"_Then he is cured and he should be able to walk but I sincerely doubt that will happen." _Was her last thing she said before she left me. I turned to Kadaj, the 'Forgotten City' was three miles away but I thought I could carry him that far. He had fallen asleep again so I just picked him up. It felt awful to carry him 'cause he was no heavier than a bag of cat or dog food he was so thin from not eating. His weight however, grew heavier as I continued on to the city. When I was about half way when I suddenly thought it was a little fishy that the doctors didn't even seem to hear me carry Kadaj away, Lord Sephiroth was with them and he surely should have heard me. As I got close to the city Kadaj started moaning a little bit and pressing his face into my chest. Walking through the dead, white trees I finally got to the heart of the city. The waters seemed to stir as I drew nearer but there was no sound as waves started to form. I stepped in, watching Kadaj's hand for when it touched the waters. After about ten seconds I took a deep breath before my next step. When his fingers touched the surface of the waters the surrounding area instantly turned black. Kadaj's eyes immediately opened and he jerked his stare down at the water, then with terror in his gaze he slowly looked up at me.

"What are you doing!"

"I'm sorry Kadaj." I started to lower him into the water, which as now a black abyss around him, he started breathing faster then suddenly grabbed my shoulder and screamed.

"No! Oh my god no! Not this, not my nightmares! Please anything but my nightmares! Mother! Please don't make me go through this Mother, not this way please! Do this some other way Mother please! Don't make me live through this please! MOTHER!" He cried like he was being tortured, and his plea tore me apart. I guess he felt my sympathy for him because he looked up at me, his eyes where filled with tears.

"Esakatari…you're a kind soul. Don't do this. Kill me first. Please if you must do some thing!" something inside my soul said that who…or what I was holding right now wasn't Kadaj. It was something else…something that had been living inside of him for a long time was talking to me so that I would think it WAS Kadaj. Something in my soul also told me that if it was the REAL Kadaj then he would be begging my to lower him in to rid him of this darkness inside him.

"I'm sorry. I have to or his sake." I said as I saw that darkness come over him.

"What do you mean 'for his sake'? I'm not the darkness you think I've become. Don't you remember? It's me. Kadaj." The tears came streaming down my face, I wanted to believe him…but I couldn't, my soul wouldn't let me believe him. With only his head above the water so he could hear me I said,

"I know it's his body, and you sound like him. And I don't want to do this…I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" Then I closed my eyes; I couldn't watch his face when I whispered to him, "But you are not Kadaj." With that I sent him under the darkness, I screamed in agony as I felt his motionless body drift from my hands, all the pain inside matched the dark waters around me and I fell to my knees in the aqua of shadows, my torture could fill the darkened pool. Somehow, Kadaj's thoughts connected with mine and I saw the hell I had sent him to, the demons that I had seen in his body came and plague him with their lies then swam away laughing. I grew so caught up in his torment that that I fell into the shadows. When I opened my eyes, I could see Kadaj floating on his back and his mouth open as if he was screaming!

"_Now! Swim over to him and grab him now!" _Jenova told me; I swam as fast as I could over to him. But when I tried to grab him, he moved away.

"_Hey! He's better now!" _I thought as I swam after him. But he didn't stop swimming away from me. "_Hey wait! I'm the good guy Kadaj! Get back here!" _I started to swim after him. He swam through tunnels and rocks trying to shake my off his trail. "_Kadaj! Get back here!" _I tried to reach with my mind; suddenly I stopped swimming after him when I saw where he was going. He was going to a sunken church and I felt darkness flow out from the ruins. I swam to the surface and I came up with a deep breath. _"Kadaj?" _I reached out with my mind, there was no answer. "_Kadaj!" _I still heard no reply. "Kadaj!" I screamed out to the black waters in front of me. "Kadaj! No! Kadaj!" I sank to my knees and fell over onto my side crying until my tears could fill the pool above me, I was so busy crying that I didn't see the waters turn back to normal. I suddenly heard them bubble, "Oh my god! What now?" I jumped up looking at the pools. The water was bubbling at the middle, and it started bubbling faster and faster until there was a break in the water and something came up with a deep breath. It fell back under then swam right back to the surface. "KADAJ!" I screamed as he swam to the shore. I ran up and held his head close to me.

"Hey. Let me have my head at lest for a moment." Kadaj said coughing.

"Oh! Sorry…" I said rubbing his back. He was shivering.

"It's cold out tonight." He rolled up into a ball on the ground. I took my coat off and wrapped him up in it. He rested his head on my arm as he lied there breathing with short gasps.

"I'm sorry Kadaj. I didn't want to do what I did to you." I finally said.

"I told you a month ago, that you where the only one who could help me. Your willingness was the only thing that could." Kadaj said shaking.

"I have to get you somewhere warm…you'll catch a cold if you stay out here in this god-forsaken wind." I picked him up and carried him to a torn down building thinking that the wall would at lest shield him from the icy air streams. When I got him inside, I wrapped my arms around him and tried to warm him up so I could get my jacket back 'cause I was freezing! Kadaj moved around and partly unwrapped him self then covered my legs with part of it.

"Can't have you getting a cold ether." He said smiling. I stretched my legs out; Kadaj also stretched out and snuggled up closer to me then rested his head in my shoulder socket.

"What's this for?"

"I'm cold, you're warm. Need I say more?" I didn't say any more. I just smiled at him then I rested my head against the ruins behind me. I didn't try to keep my self awake so I fell asleep very quickly. Unfortunately, we slept there, the exact same way, till morning! Why do I say 'unfortunately'? 'Cause Lord Sephiroth found us there at sunrise on the following day! He shook me awake then he kicked Kadaj off.

"What the hell are you doing? You trying to make a move on her or something?" He snapped furiously at him.

"S-S-S-Sephiroth! I-i-it's not what you think!" From the horror in Kadaj's eyes, you would've thought that he was staring at the Grim Reaper, maybe he was!

"Oh really? And what would it be that actually happened?" Kadaj was trembling at this point…he was exceedingly terrified of what Lord Sephiroth was going to do to him.

"Um…well…aw…damn! I can't say it that way; it'll sound so wrong! Aw…what happened was…um…" He slapped his forehead, then took a deep breath before he continued. "I'm going to be butt-slashed aren't I?"

"Looks like that if you can't defended your self."

"It wasn't his fault." I finally blurted out. Sephiroth turned and look curiously at me.

"What did you say?"

"It wasn't his fault, what happened was I took him here to finally heal him and we where both worn out from what occurred."

"And? What would that situation be pray tell?" I closed my eyes and sighed before I answered him.

"Jen…Mother, Told me to bring him here to make him face his worst fear. I did what she told me and I ended up getting catch in the whole thing so I my self was too tired to go much of anywhere. So I dragged Kadaj in here so that he wouldn't get sick 'cause he was drenched and…I guess we both fell asleep in an inappropriate position. It wasn't intended for that to happen. I meant to get up after a while and take him home but that never happened." Lord Sephiroth glared over at Kadaj who crawled as fast as he could behind a broken pillar piece then looked from behind it to see if Sephiroth had followed him.

"I can see that at lest one part of this story is true since Kadaj can now move around…I don't quite believe the rest of it though." I smiled before I answered.

"I'm sorry. There wasn't any one else here but Kadaj and me. And I thought it was innocent until 'PROVEN' guilty?"

"An excellent point." Kadaj said,

"Shut up." Lord Sephiroth cut him off.

"If that's the way it should be then I guess that you'll ether have to believe what I told you as truth or you'll have to put us on trial." I said trying not to smile. Kadaj started snickering from behind the pillar piece.

"Get out from behind there Kadaj! You look like a yellow-belly!" Sephiroth ordered.

"Well, at lest I'm safe behind here." Kadaj sarcastically said. Sephiroth walked over to the pillar and started walking behind it with his sword drawn out. "HOLY CRAP!" Kadaj yelled running over and behind me.

"Next time think twice before you say anything like that again." Sephiroth said looking angrily at him as he came back around.

"Okay." Kadaj said shaking. I laughed at him. Sephiroth just rolled his eyes as he put his sword away.

"Fine, I need to get you children back before I lose my temper again. HEY! KADAJ! Get back up here where I can see you!"

_**The end…yeah right! Sorry! I'm just getting started with this. If enough of you review this story…say about ten of you after now…I'll upload the next part. I'll be working on it till then. This isn't much of a cliffhanger but I'm letting you know…there's a lot that I haven't started on in here. So tell a friend or family member to read this and I'll get it up soon I hope…see ya! Hope to see you on the review page again! –Kadaj's Neko**_


	8. Chapter 8

_Jealousy_

"I told you to stay away from her Constantine!" Kadaj yelled at him, it's been two months after Kadaj had been healed from being paralyzed and he and Constantine where at it, like two dogs, about who I was keen on again. It was annoying that they never came and asked me about such things but who's the judge here. Kadaj had just blown his stake when I over heard him yelling at Constantine about me.

"Look if you're worried that she'll want some one else other than you why don't you just tell her how you feel?"

"Do NOT change the subject Black Advent boy! I told you three months ago to leave her alone!"

"Esakatari's my friend too you know!" Constantine snapped at him.

"Then act like she's your friend and NOT your girlfriend!" Kadaj growled.

"What are you talking about?"

"That whole 'Neko girl' thing! Stop calling her that!"

"Oh come on Kadaj! You're being ridicules about all this. I've been calling her that since she and I can remember. Long before you EVER showed your face white boy!"

"You!" Kadaj was getting more and more furious every second.

"Hi guys what's going on?" I asked after seeing Kadaj getting ready to pull out his two-blade Katana and slice Constantine in two.

"Nothing." Kadaj turned and started walking with me. I glanced up and saw him glaring at Constantine as we walked away.

"You and he have been at it for a while now. What's it all about?"

"He's just being stubborn!" Kadaj snapped as he shook his head and ran ahead a little bit.

"Oh look at me I'm a good little wife." I teased Kadaj, he stopped and looked back.

"Sorry." He smiled and waited for me to catch up then grabbed my hand.

"How's the egg?" I asked after a while.

"I don't know. It keeps changing colors on me."

"Like what?"

"Oh, this morning it was black this afternoon it was green now it's probably purple or blue or something like that." Kadaj rolled his eyes and I looked down trying to keep from laughing.

"You're going to check on it right?"

"Oh sure, sure I just want to stay with you a while." I looked up at him and he gave me a half smile.

"What?" I asked,

"Nothing" Kadaj didn't say anything for about ten seconds "Darkness neko."

"Darkness neko…is that your name for me?" I asked, he nodded. "Okay, that's cool." Kadaj smiled. As we got to his house I told him I had to go home quickly.

"That's okay. Yazoo and I have to do something any way. Remember when I told you about Mother's ceremony we're having tonight?"

"Oh yeah. I'll be there tonight okay?"

"Great! I'll call you in a minute." I rolled my eyes as he ran inside. Yazoo way standing there looking at us. For some reason Yazoo didn't seem to like Kadaj and me together. For the longest times I felt like he had some reason to hate me. He nodded and turned inside then shut the door. I skipped along back home to get my swords and stars together. After about three second after I got through my door I heard my phone ring and the caller ID flashed Kadaj Jenova.

"Hey Darkness Neko. You still getting ready?"

"Yep, I just got in but it's not like I have to be rude and say get off about right?" Kadaj laughed on the other end. I don't know how long we were talking about complete nonsense and that I thought Yazoo along with Loz were gay but somewhere in the conversation Kadaj cut it short saying,

"Oh ho. I see that Yazoo's out of the coffee shop. We spent way too long on here. I don't get it! Why doesn't he understand?"

"Maybe he thinks it's stupid to love some one other than Mother."

"Why? That doesn't make any sense!"

"I don't know. Bye." I said as I heard Kadaj sigh.

"See ya." The line clicked off. I grabbed my sword and remaining stars off the table and set out for Kadaj's place to help out as best I could. When I got there I saw Yazoo carrying a girl inside the house!

"What the…?" I said as I got up to the door and walked inside. I spotted Kadaj sitting on a chair not too far away. "Kadaj, who's she?"

"I don't know, a Death Trooper apparently." I looked back at the girl Yazoo had carried in as he took her down the stairs to the basement. I knew what this would mean if she was. The Death Troopers where the protectors of the planet and it was their job to keep things in check and balance. There was a long history behind why they got like that but it's not worth explaining right now. As Yazoo disappeared down stairs I asked Kadaj.

"Where did he find her?"

"He didn't say other than he got in a fight with her." I thought about it, I knew a girl once who was like that; she'd get into fights all the time with boys. Said that she was trying to remind them where they came from! Plus this girl looked kind of like her. I was so busy thinking that I didn't see Kadaj walking passed until he snapped his fingers in my face. "Let's go, we'll get the things together for the invitations and the ceromony."

"Oh okay, I'll go get Constantine and the others."

"NO" Kadaj said turning around, I looked at him puzzled as he laughed slightly, "no, we can take care of it." I shrugged and walked with him.

"So what is it we're looking for exactly? And what are these 'invitations' as you put it?"

"Not much, just something to hold Mother's cells. And the invitations is Geostigma like before."

"You found her cells! Where?" Kadaj blushed and looked to the ground but didn't answer, "What?" He blushed harder,

"Um…where I spilled her." I snickered slightly but stopped when Kadaj glared up at me.

"Don't make fun of me!" he said pointing at me as we walked on. We didn't stop very many places, and when we did it wasn't for very long. Kadaj seemed to know what it was he needed for tonight, which wasn't much. Just a small bowl and black pillar like thing. I couldn't understand why Kadaj needed Mother's cells for what it was we were doing tonight. I thought we where just going to get people to join the family and get enough energy from them to reawaken Mother. Course if we had to get them like they got me then I could understand a little bit. I really hadn't thought on how they were planning to get a bunch of life cells to become a body any way. We walked about a mile passed town then Kadaj touched my right arm and a sharp, scorching, lighting like pain shot from where he touched me, passed my shoulder, and into my heart.

"Ow!" I yelped grabbing my arm and pushing Kadaj away harshly. "What was that for?" Kadaj looked at me puzzled,

"What are you talking about? I didn't do anything." Something inside told me he was lying, but I chose to ignore it. Kadaj turned around he wiped his forehead off.

"_What IS going on?"_ I thought as I kept walking. About another mile passed that point Kadaj touched me again in the same place and that same pain shot through me. I jumped back but didn't say anything. When we reached the 'Forgotten City' Kadaj touched me again and the same thing happened.

"Kadaj, what are you doing?" I demanded, he turned.

"Esa, I think you need some help. I'm not doing anything to you and…"

"Then why is it that for the last three miles every time you've touched me I've felt this sharp, scorching, lighting like pain going through my shoulder and through my heart?"

"Maybe your just going through the Advent pains again and you're only noticing it when I toughed you." He walked away.

"_No, that can't be it at all Kadaj. You're doing something and you won't tell me. I can feel it in the dragon eggs." _ While Kadaj set up the place for the ceremony tonight I watched my dragon eggs. I seemed to do this every time I wanted to avoid Kadaj for a while and I was really focused on being somewhere else. I hadn't noticed that one egg was starting to move on it's own until it jumped in my hands, when I felt it leave my palm and then press down I drew my gaze to it quickly, it move again and again and I felt my heart race, a feeling like I had when I would get ready to fight some one rushed through my veins along with a watery like energy that flowed fast.

"Kadaj! Come here quick! The stork's here!" I called out placing all the other dragon eggs on the ground slowly. Kadaj came running up,

"What stork?" The egg started to crack, "Hello! That stork!" He sat down beside me and we huddled in close as we watched the egg struggle to break. "How long with this take?"

"Ten minutes to an hour." I said not looking up. The egg started to have small holes poked through it and Kadaj got hyper.

"What color is it, what color is!" Kadaj said eagerly as he moved his face in closer.

"Calm down Kadaj, you can't see it yet now back up a little." I pushed my palm into his chest trying to get him off my face. The egg kept cracking and pieces started to fall off until one fairly large piece broke off.

"Can you see it now? What color is it? Is it…?"

"Kadaj…chill! Cool it!" I looked closely at the dragon moving around inside. "I can't tell, its scales are to dark. I think it's going to ether be green or gray. Or maybe purple, big maybe." The egg broke some more and the dragon's head popped out and he let out a small, squeaky roar. Kadaj started snickering at it. The dragon struggled around and pulled forward as it shook violently.

"Easy little guy." Kadaj whispered. The dragon's forepaws came out beside his head and it started clawing at the shell underneath them; a small feeling of joy came over me as I watched this beautiful beast struggle to get free. I felt like that once my self, trying to get free from my old life. The dragon was starting to move out and break more of the shell off. I could see it's little wings all folded up against its tiny body. It laid down after a while and stopped moving, it took in one deep breath, then another, and another, then suddenly it let out that small, squeaky roar again as it kicked the rest of the shell off and it laid motionless in my hands.

"I still can't really see what color it is so I guess that means its gray." Kadaj looked up then looked back down at the little dragon that started to rub around in my hands, trying to get every inch of his scaly hide to touch me. As it moved I saw it's scales start to show a silvery color and then it stood up. Carefully unfolding it's wings the color showed a brilliant, rich, grayish-silver color as it flapped them up and down slowly then he roared again. I looked up and Kadaj was smiling at it. When I looked down again the dragon looked into my eyes and a mind connection locked into place. I knew it was a boy and that he was a fighter/water dragon with small control over fire…enough to breath it. I even knew his name.

"It's a boy, his name is Merlock." Kadaj shook his head and laughed,

"Lucky! I'm jealous!" He got up. "Let him hear your voice." I looked up at Kadaj then looked back to Merlock. I hummed a tune I knew from my days in Dragonopolis,

_Dragon wishes,_

_Dragon passions,_

_Dragon lead me on._

_Sing with me this dragon song,_

_This dragon sing along,_

_Dragon wishes,_

_Dragon passions,_

_Dragon lead me on._

The little silver dragon swayed to the rhythm of the song and flapped his wings to beat. After about a minute he flapped his wings fast and he flew up into the air and landed on my shoulder, rubbing my face affectionately and squeaked…I mean roared. "Aw." Kadaj said as he watched this. "Look at him." He petted Merlock softly on the jaw and Merlock jumped into the air and flew over then licked Kadaj's face and flew back.

"I think he likes you." I said looking up at him. He gave me a half smile. "Don't be too jealous of me, you'll have your own little dragon soon." I petted Merlock on the head as I stood up.


	9. Don't turn away

_Don't turn away_

That night must have been the most frightening night of my life. I didn't know what was bothering me…but something about Kadaj was really putting me at edge. He seemed…darker…almost sinister. He was definitely acting like a darker version of him self if anything. It seemed like I was dealing with the same Kadaj I had met a year ago when he was still haunted by the needs and desires to please Mother. While he was talking to Loz and Yazoo about the ceremony; whenever they asked what would come next Kadaj was constantly saying that 'Mother was going to tell them what to do. She had in the past.' Kadaj appeared to be slipping back into being a remnant. He was starting to refer to Cloud as traitor brother and traitor Nii-san again. He also said that soon Mother would awaken. That right there scared the hell out of me. And at the ceremony…it got worse. When I tried to get Kadaj's attention he acted like I wasn't there, looking at me like I was someone to hate. And when ever he touched me that sharp pain that had happened earlier started happening again. As I grew more and more scared I started looking for Kadaj to ask him what was going on when a man grabbed me from behind and pulled me down. They blindfolded me and wrapped their body around me so I couldn't move. I couldn't even struggle, as I felt that sharp, scorching, lightning pain running through my entire body from the man's hand on my right arm, gripping me so hard I couldn't felt it any more. I couldn't even scream because the man held my mouth shut. I screamed out to the life stream for help.

"_Death Troopers! Death Troopers I need you! Help!" _I still couldn't feel anything but that man holding me down and the pain racing through me. My mind was scattered over every thing I held dear to me and I grew terrified as I no longer could control my thoughts, every time I thought about some thing it changed to Jenova and destruction of this planet. The world spun faster and faster and I couldn't stop it. The pain grew more rapidly as well and everything seemed to become foreign in my body. Everything human inside felt different. An alien matter seemed to be replacing me. I felt like I was being torn from my body, like I was being removed and re-placed. It was like a current was pushing on me and I was being taken while something…or some one else was staying behind. The man let go of me but I still couldn't move. I suddenly felt Jenova…everywhere!

"_Well done Esakatari. Your work here is done. You may go."_

"_Mother? What are you talking about? Where am I going?"_

"_I told you to leave child."_

"_What! No! Leave me alone!"_

"_I can't just leave you alone. You don't know who's child you are do you?"_

"_You know my parents?"_

"_I'd better since I'm one of them!" _ I refused to believe that! I tried to push and run away but I couldn't escape her! I ran everywhere in my mind but she was there! On and on, around and around I tried to get away but ended up stuck. Jenova was after me and I could escape her! What felt like a net came over me in my mind and I was being pulled, dragged out of my own body and I grew cold and faint,

"_Just accept the truth about your self Esakatari. Let go." _

"_Wicked!" _I yelled with my mind. Nothing, my head was still running and the pain was growing agonizing. I was ready to give in when I heard some one yell out,

"I will NOT just let you take over Kadaj!" I tried to open my eyes but I felt like the girl was my old friend. She continued.

"I'm over throwing you Kadaj! Your leaderships over down here!" Jenova started weakening in my mind and I fought back to get her out. The more I fought the more she grew weak and finally I over threw her and sent her back. The pain stopped and I could move again. I took the blindfold off my eyes and ran, I stopped when I heard Kadaj yell out

"I've heard enough of your blabbering! Take her!" I turned only for a minute then ran back towards home as I saw Kadaj jump up and he saw me. When I got to my apartment I ran in and slammed the door shut then leaned my chest against it. As I melted to the floor I cried, what was happening? I didn't know what to do. I couldn't run away yet I couldn't stay here. I trusted Kadaj once but not any more. Unless he explained him self and showed proof that he was never going to do what ever he did again I wouldn't trust him. Small-clawed paws pressed into my shoulder and I looked up into Merlock's little face as he grinned at me.

"_Mommy? Are you okay?"_ He asked.

"_Yes precious one. I will be." _Merlock snuggled into my neck. After an hour he spoke up again.

"_Oh, by the way. One of the eggs started to move."_

"_They did?" _I ran into my room and pulled them out of my clothing draw.

"_That one." _Merlock pointed with his tail at a greenish-blue egg. The egg jumped and thrashed a little. I felt like singing, and songs came to me as the egg cracked more. My heart lightened as I heard songs being sung in my head. Then there was a knock at the door and Merlock flew over.

"_I'll get it."_

"_If its Kadaj tell him to go away…better yet…don't open the door!"_

"_How do I know if it's Kadaj or not?"_

"_Look out of the eyepiece." _Merlock flew up to the eyepiece and looked out.

"_It's him alright."_

"_Quick! Out the window!" _I grabbed the other dragon eggs and jumped out the transom then climbed to the roof. I settled down and pulled the hatching egg out. The shell was starting to break off. Merlock came zooming out and on my shoulder.

"_Oh look! I can see her scales!"_

"_How do you know it's a girl already?"_

"_I don't…I want it to be a girl though. They're aqua blue any way." _

"_Um…Mommy?" _

"_Not now Merlock."_

"_Okay."_

What Merlock was trying to say to me as I sat there watch the little life come into the world was that Kadaj had come up onto the roof top.

"I thought you'd be up here." His voice still carried a skin crawling tone to it. I shivered and didn't answer. He walked up to me and saw the dragon egg. "Why didn't you tell me another one was hatching?" I didn't answer, "Esa?" I still didn't respond. Kadaj sat down beside me and laid hid chin on my shoulder. I pulled it out from under him quickly and didn't look at him. "Say! What's going on here?" I refused to reply, I just sat there hoping he would go away. Kadaj sighed and just watched the dragon egg hatch, trying to snuggle up to me like everything was okay. After two minutes the dragon was half way out. As I tapped the back of the egg slightly it kicked the rest off and it was free. It yawned then looked up at me and a mind connection was made.

"_Yes! It's a girl! What's your name little one?"_

"_Arwil." _The little newborndragon replied.

"_You see? She's being nice and answering when she's asked a question…why are you being rude?" _Kadaj interjected in my mind. I blocked him off. "What is with you tonight!" He half yelled at me. I watched the dragon rub around on my skin.

"_She's pretty isn't she?" _I asked Merlock still not letting Kadaj in,

"_She's really pretty!" _He answered joyfully.

"_Esakatari! What are you doin? Let Kadaj in!" _Jenova's voice sounded in my head.

"_After what you did to me? I'm NOT listening to you!"_ I tried to block her off but failed. _"Don't you be trying to push ME around Esa!" _She forced my mind gate open. Kadaj didn't say anything for about two minutes but I felt his sickening presence invading in after about two seconds and settle down.

"_Esa…what's going…?"_

"_You can talk but I'm not listening!" _I sent a power surge into his mind giving him a headache.

"_Ow! Gees! What was that for?"_

"_Who are you?" _Arwil asked Kadaj as she looked over at him.

"_Apparently some one your master's mad at." _Arwil's ears perked up then she flew up on my shoulder, placing her head under my chin she pushed me to look into Kadaj's eyes then she let out a sound. It was her song voice and it sounded like the Irish Tin Whistle, and she sang to the tune of 'The Flower of Magherally'. That was one of my favorites songs. I closed my eyes and looked away smiling as she sang. Kadaj tried to hold my hand but I pulled it away. Arwil walked off my shoulder onto Kadaj's and placed her little head under his jaw while still singing. After she was done I felt peace inside. She jumped out in the air and flew in front of us. I stood up and Kadaj followed. Arwil landed on my left shoulder and Merlock on my right. As I walked to the roof's edge Kadaj grabbed my arm and tugged slightly. I pulled it away and kept walking away.

"What where you doing tonight!" I demanded as I turned sharply and glared. Kadaj twitched a little in surprise.

"Wha?"

"DON'T PLAY STUPID WITH ME WHAT IN HELL WHERE YOU DOING!"

Kadaj looked to the ground then looked back up.

"I take it you mean that sharp pain you where talking about earlier…huh?"

"So you DID know what I meant! You liar! You told me you didn't know what the hell I was talking about jerk!"

"Yes I ah…apologize for that but I was doing it so that you wouldn't be alarmed."

"Oh sure! Like that pain thing is way less alarming than Jenova her self telling me I'm her child more than just by the stigma!" Kadaj jerked his head up and his eyes had contracted.

"What! She said what!"

"Oh like YOU didn't know that!"

"No. I didn't. How did it happen?"

"The way nature has always done it I assume!" Kadaj looked down and blushed.

"Mother told me to awaken her. There's only one way to do that. Through some one who can handle all those cells" Kadaj looked up "but not if it's at the cost of loosing some one's life. Lest of all yours." I looked away to the ground,

"You mean that?"

"Is there a way not to?" Kadaj grabbed my arm again. When I looked up Arwil started singing again in her song voice to the melody of "Lissadell" as Kadaj pulled me back Arwil flew off and onto a nearby post. Merlock followed after her sing as best he could along with her but it was obvious that Arwil was better by far. Kadaj pulled me into his chest and held me.

"I'm sorry about tonight. I don't know what came over me." I wrapped my arms around his neck and forgave him. The dragons continued their song as if they wanted us to dance. I looked up at Kadaj as if to ask if he was up to it. So he took my right hand and wrapped his arm around my waist. Slowly he started to swing me around to the music. The roof top as flat so we didn't worry about falling off. As Arwil grew louder Kadaj started going a little bit faster and pulled harder in his swing. It was like being in a fairy-tale only better. I could almost feel the mist under our feet and the wind flying passed us. I could almost see the city turning into an enchanted forest somewhere. After a while we slowed down and Kadaj pulled me in closer so I rested my head on his chest. Arwil was starting to slow down too and after about three minutes the music stopped completely. We stopped dancing but we still held each other. Arwil and Merlock both reminded me that we should go. After I let Kadaj go he grabbed my chin and pushed me to look at him. Closing his eyes he kissed my forehead and left. I stood watching as he went down stairs. Arwil started singing again; this time she sang "Siul Agra/ Siul Aroon" or "Walk with Me My Love" Translated from the Gallic. As I walked back inside I felt like a traitor to Kadaj. With Arwil singing I couldn't feel that way for long though. Merlock started dancing him self to the song that Arwil was singing.

"_Don't be mad at this Kadaj mommy." _Arwil said after she stopped. _"He seems really nice. And from what I could see of his past he just needs to let go of a few things."_

I nodded at the little newborn.

"_Arwil. How did you know all those song a moment ago?"_

"_I got them from your mind." _She flew off with Merlock. I vowed to never let those two or any other dragon to get hurt as long as they where under my care that night. But still my mind wandered off to how Kadaj was after I had hurt him like this. As I turned to go to bed I thought I heard him whispering in my head.

"_Don't turn away from me for ever Esa. I need you more now than ever before." _His presence left me.

"_Kadaj…I'm sorry." _I hung my head and walked on.


	10. A Dragon for Kadaj

_A Dragon For Kadaj_

At about two the next morning is a real annoyance to wake me up but he just had to call me. Kadaj must have had something real important to say to me to have dared to phone me then. But alas, he did, and a pissed version of me answered with a huge tint of tiredness in my voice.

"Wha…! …Hello?" Kadaj's over-excited, desperate, and joyful voice came back over the telephone.

"Neko! You need to get over here right now!"

"What's going on?" I said rather monotonously sounding very much like Yazoo.

"The egg! It's hatching!" All the fatigue left me and my heart raced. "Get over here now!" The phone clicked and I hung up. Running over to my draws I woke up Arwil as she went tumbling out from her sleeping place while I tore through the dresser that she slept in.

"_What's wrong mommy?" _She asked as she flew up dangling her tail below her in a tiered like fashion.

"_Nothing, I have to get over to that man Kadaj's house though…the dragon egg I gave him is hatching."_ Arwil jumped up into the air with a squeal.

"_I'm going to wake up Merlock!" _She said as she flew to the closet. She called out to him with her mind and he came tumbling out with a moan. I giggled as he argued around with her…it reminded me of one Kadaj and I had once. After I had gotten him up he started yelling at me about why I had the guts to ever attempt to wake him up at four in the morning.

"_What ever!" _Merlock ended the argument as I started to leave, he landed on my left shoulder and Arwil joined me on my right. As I ran for the stairs I almost bummed into Sephiroth…which was weird because he almost never came here.

"Lord Sephiroth. I'm sorry, I'm in a hurry."

"I'm only came here to apologize for last night." He caught my attention,

"Wha?"

"It seems that Kadaj scared you last night. I told him not to do what he did but he didn't listen."

"You knew what he was intending to do? Then why…?"

"I have to go now and since you are in a hurry I shouldn't keep you." He walked off. I had the sneaky suspicion that he was trying to hide something from me. But I shrugged it off and keep running. The faster I ran the more my heart pounded with joy as I grew near Kadaj's place. Merlock and Arwil both jumped off my shoulders and flew ahead after I told them that Kadaj's house was just in front of us, and they squeaked (or roared as it should be) with delight as they started flying more rapidly. I ran up to the door ready to knock but was stopped and startled by Kadaj opening it for me.

"Why are you out here? Come on!" He grabbed my wrist and almost dragged me inside. Running up to his room I saw the egg starting to crack and jump around. A feeling of insecurity, deviousness, and fear rose up in me.

"_I remember this…anything that the outside person feels while the egg is hatching is the dragons personality. That might mean that Kadaj knew what Merlock and Arwil where like before I did." _The egg kept jumping around, random objects in the room started floating but falling down when I looked at them like a pencil on the bed. I had no idea what was going on. The silvery black shell started to break after about a half an hour and the little, black dragon's somewhat silver head emerged from the hole. Strangely, the little guy seamed to resemble Kadaj in his appearance, but he actually darted back into the egg and Kadaj had to poke him so that he'd come back out again. Then the dragon stared at Kadaj, blinking. Then suddenly when the dragon looked into Kadaj's eyes it started struggling, fighting to get to him. The shell literally came flying off and the newborn darted for him. Kadaj jumped at first but then stayed still as it flew to his neck and buried into his shirt. I giggled as the dragon peeked over Kadaj's raised collar and then darted back down into his shirt with a squeak of fear. Kadaj gave his dragon a weird look then reached in and grabbed it. Carefully pulling it out he placed it on the table and petted him. The dragon's wing became clearer as to their color, which was purple. After about twenty seconds the dragon looked at me.

"His name is Devistra. I think I felt his powers where command of objects such as moving that pencil in the air along with fire dominance." I smiled and snickered slightly.

"You where so jealous of me last night for Merlock and Arwil. Now you don't have that right any more." He smiled but didn't look up as Devistra started walking around trying to find Kadaj's hand. Kadaj removed his glove and let Devistra feel the skin on his palm. Devistra rubbed affectionately against his hand then flew back into Kadaj's collar. I was tempted to reach over and touch the dragon but knew that Devistra wouldn't like that so I kept my hands to my self. About a moment later my dragons came over onto Kadaj's bed and sat there, looking up at Devistra almost begging him to come down and play. When Devistra looked up Kadaj who nodded to Merlock and Arwil he flew over to them. The three of them started 'fighting around' as Merlock playfully bit Devistra's ear then Arwil slapped Merlock with her tail to get him off. Kadaj started laughing at them as Devistra squeaked (roared…sorry) at Merlock. It took about a minute to tire the dragons out and soon they where in a little heap.

"I'm just wondering…" Kadaj started, "How is a one foot dragon going to grow up into a twenty foot long one?"

"Well, not all rider dragons are twenty feet long. Some times they're just ten or even six."

"You've seen a six foot long rider dragon." Kadaj confirmed.

"No…I've helped raise and I rode one." Kadaj blush as if I had embarrassed him…which I might have then turned away. A sound of a motorbike came in from the front of the house and then stopped. Kadaj's head jerked up and he jogged over to the door. Leaning up against it he listened quietly.

"Wait here." He said, he opened the door and I heard Yazoo saying something to some one in his monotone voice.

"Your instincts? I've studied your kind before. It was very interesting." If I were that person I would have blushed. I sat there talking to the dragons when all of the sudden I heard the door slam shut, a small yelp and the sound of a struggle…along after that I heard Kadaj's voice saying,

"You got her? Good! Let's get this over with already." I tried to run out in time to see who he was talking about but I just missed them. But I did see Yazoo, coming up the stairs. He looked tired and so I was about to just leave him alone when he called out to me.

"Hey, you know about the silver room?"

"Sure but why?"

"I think that's going to be a guest's room for a while…maybe even permanently." I got what he was asking me to do so I nodded and left. I walked into the room and looked around, it hadn't been used for some time but it was still some how not dusty. I stripped the bed and took the sheets down stairs. Normally, I would have called Yazoo a sexist for making ME do the laundry but he was so tired that if I pull that crap he would definitely pull out his gun and blow my head off! And after a little 'sweet talk' with Kadaj he would get away with it. So, I was a good submissive little Japanese wife to Yazoo (even though I hated him.) After I started the wash I saw Yazoo back in the living room with a different Gun than the one I was used to seeing him carry. He laid it down on the table and walked away with a short, somewhat quiet sigh. I heard some one come in and looked out, Lord Sephiroth and Loz both had just come in from the back yard.

"You didn't have to hurt her like that!" Yazoo partly snapped trying to keep composed.

"How do you know we hurt her?" Lord Sephiroth asked.

"Don't think I didn't hear her yelp when you grabbed her from behind. You didn't need to squeeze her head to death like that ether." Yazoo I could tell was still very much in control over his anger but that jurisdiction was starting to be ripped away.

"We just did what we had to do." Loz pointed out.

"No…you did what Kadaj TOLD you to do…there is a difference."

"I was in no way following your brother like a dog!" Sephiroth snapped. Yazoo stepped back slowly, after a bit Yazoo turned and walked out of the room. He came to the door and opened it with me falling out. He picked me up, slammed the door, and huffed slightly.

"Sephiroth!" Yazoo said letting out his anger.

"What's going on?" Yazoo seemed to be trying to settle down so I didn't push it and left the matter alone.


End file.
